


Quickly fried and slowly freezed

by VenlaMatleena



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Becoming a mutant, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Just using the characters, Not following the movie -plot, Not so dark and evil Erik, Walking Charles, Wormhole in time, modern reader, timetravel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7635550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenlaMatleena/pseuds/VenlaMatleena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You (the reader) are a modern nerd -woman who gets sucked in the world of mutants by becoming one by herself as the result of a freaky accident.</p><p>Now, a small warning!<br/>This story does not follow the movie timeline or the events of the movie. I have not read the X-men comics and this kind of happens in the moment of X-Men First Class. The time is modern day - 60's and location (your city) and somewhere in the UK.<br/>So I kind of stole the Charles/Erik -characters and screwed the rest of the franchise. Please don't hate me :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quick fry and slow freeze

It was the Friday evening and time for the long bath that always kicked off your weekend, finally. You were currently unemployed but you had still plenty of freelancer –project and other things to do and you never let yourself to just lay around during the weekdays. You had moved into the big city some years ago when you had graduated and gotten employed as a computer expert to a startup tech-firm… that had then crashed and burned when they had launched a new social media –site that had flopped entirely. It had supposed to be “the new Facebook” but it had never gained popularity.

You had been one of the key-coders and for you a life without the Internet was just something that you could not imagine; when you woke up, the first thing you checked out was the newsfeed on your Facebook –feed and also the latest videos from the Youtube –users to whose channels you had subscribed to. You did not even take a bath without your tablet and the last thing you did in the evening was to check your notifications and schedule for the next day from your online-calendar which was of course synced with your phone and tablet and laptop as well as your table PC. You were never truly out of reach, except during the nights when you had your phone on mute, however it was never completely turned off.  
Now this particular evening you had been having a long Skype –call with the coworker from the previous job. He was cooking something in his mind, a project, and he wanted to ask if you were interested to partner up with him. You had told him that you would think about it. His project was very much similar to the social media –site and you were kind of skeptic about brilliance of the idea; you just could not see it. Therefore you were not sure about how personally involved you wanted to get with that kind of project. It was a tough market and although you had not told your ex-coworker, his idea was not that special.

Therefore you did not want to start investing your own savings to anything but were more comfortable with working with projects that actually made some sense and got paid by the hours and not with the share of the company. Yes, if you had taken the share of Facebook back in the day, you would be filthy rich now, assuming that you had been offered, but since there already was the Facebook, that had captured the masses, it was highly unlikely that “The Facescape” appealed to the masses in the similar way.

Yes, your friend had said how “MySpace” had once been the big thing and then Facebook had come and stolen the users although the idea of the latter was slightly different but still you did not think that Facebook was going to be turned into the new MySpace any day soon and unfortunately, for that reason and for that reason only, you were not interested in partnering up with him.  
Besides you were quite sure that he was also romantically interested in you but he was too young for you. You wanted to meet someone who did not play with computer the entire day and actually went out to see people. The guy however was totally opposite of your ideal guy. You had never met him live because he was a bit agoraphobic so he worked from home and the only way to actually hang out with him was to either go to his place, he lived with his mother by the way, or to do it online. He was nice but… no. 

The bathtub was finally filled and you decided to listen to some music as you soaked in the warm water. The battery of your phone was however about to die so you had to connect it to the charger. You took the longest extension cable you owned and plugged it to the socket outside your bathroom and then connected your charger to your phone. The charger was a little bit broken and you were supposed to buy another soon but you had been lazy because as long as it worked, it was okay, right?

You put the headphones in your ears and leaned back. The water was just the perfect temperature and you really drifted away. The music got muffled as you fell half-asleep into the soft warmness of the bathwater. You sighed and shifted a little. This position-shifting-movement pulled your phone into the water and since it was connected to the broken charger, suddenly everything just went black for you, or would had gone if you had been fully awake. For your luck you were more or less sleeping and did not feel a thing.

You woke up. The bathwater was cold and there was a slight smell of smoke in the bathroom. The entire apartment was dark and when you got out from your bath and tried to put on the lights, you found out that the power was out from your apartment. Soon there was a knock on your door. You shouted “just a second” and put on your spa-robe. Your head was hurting a little and it felt like you had been having a terrible hangover. Another knock on the door. You shouted “yeah, yeah” and walked to the door. You opened it and it was your neighbor telling you that the power was off in the entire apartment building. Apparently the fuses had burnt out at the same time in the basement and it was going to be Monday morning when the maintenance man came back. Then he commented about the smell that was floating out from your apartment. “I think your dinner is burning” he said and left. You thanked for the information and then closed the door.

You opened the door to your balcony. It was currently snowing quite heavily and the snowflakes kept floating into your apartment through it although you tried to put your long curtain to shelter the hole through which the warmth was now disappearing. You did not care about either of the matters because you really wanted to get the smell of smoke out. However you were getting very tired, almost surprisingly tired and therefore you decided to wait for the smoke clearing by laying on your bed.  
But you fell asleep almost immediately as you had crawled on your bed-covers. The weather was windy and it was almost -30 C outside and therefore the temperature in your apartment dropped rapidly but even this did not wake you up. There was something happening in your cells as the result to the previous quick-fry to the current cooling of your body temperature. There was something going with your in your mind as well.  
You however were deep asleep, one could say that the state of depth was even abnormal. You had strange dreams about time, how it was all around, seemingly untouchable but still, if you knew how to look, you could see it and find your way through it. The other curious thing about your dream was that in it there was a blue-eyed man calling you, trying to contact you through a haze. There was plenty of distraction in the connection and it kept breaking every once in a while. The weirdest thing, though, was that even though the connection was weak, you still could feel him in your mind and for a moment that lasted for a fraction of a second maybe, you managed to see him clearly.  
The man in your dream was wearing a dark gray sweater and a black jacket on top of it. He was cute, brown hair, maybe 30 years old or twentysomething, no beard and the eyes… yes the eyes were the thing that really caught your attention; he had big blue eyes that were completely mesmerizing. He was talking to you in your mind, telling you to look closely, to pay attention and to follow his voice. Then the connection broke entirely.

It was morning and your apartment was freezing cold. There was some snow on the floor and as you tried to sit up on your bed, your muscles felt very stiff. It was strange, almost as if you would had needed to jumpstart your entire body before being able to even crook your fingers. Finally you managed to get out from the bed and stretch your muscles that were all aching. Your skin was cold but after a moment jumping around your bedroom you started to feel warmer.  
The next thing you did was to kick out the snow from your apartment and close the door. It was strange how you did not feel that cold although it was getting obvious that the temperature inside your apartment was something on the “below-zero” –side. You noticed that your money tree had frost on its leaves and you were cursing that you had now killed it for good. You liked your money tree! It had been a house-warming gift from your ex-boyfriend who had then decided suddenly that you were too ordinary for him and he had left the city for becoming a monk in the Himalayas.

You had forgotten your phone and actually the whole bathtub-thing already. Actually you did not even know that the whole bathtub-thing had happened. You were only cursing the terrible headache that you were still experiencing. It was just massive so therefore you decided to get dressed, put on some makeup and leave the apartment to get some painkillers as well as breakfast. You tried to turn on the lights in your closet as you were looking for your winter gloves, but as you flipped the switch a couple of times, you got a flashback memory about your neighbor telling you that the main fuse had burnt and there was no electricity until Monday.

There was something about the memory though; as you stood in the darkness, the constant sound of your own breathing calmed your mind and suddenly you were there again. You kept staring at the neighbor with a blank, absent look on your face and after he had explained the situation and notified about the smell, which you now smelled as well, he suddenly said “hey?” and waved his hand in front of your eyes. You focused your attention to him, thanked for the information and this time slammed the door shut. The loud bang woke you up and you realized that you were still standing in your dark closet.

“Whatever” you thought and sighed. You were not going to find your gloves now. Sure it had been a winter for some time in the city that you were living in, but it had never gotten this cold before! Anyway, with just a couple of minus degrees you did not bother using gloves because they did not function well with your touch screen. You had tried to use the touch-pen and gloves that had been designed specifically to be used with a smart phone, but it was just easier to hide your bare finger inside your pockets than to wear gloves.

Your stomach made a loud rumbling noise which gathered your mind into one place and you realized that you were on your way out. Yes. Out. Because if the power was out from the entire apartment building, then it meant that your fridge was off too. “Oh well, it was empty anyway” you thought and left the apartment. The weather outside was still windy but it was not that cold anymore. You got some takeaway breakfast, a pizza to be exact from the pizzeria nearby. It was like a combined breakfast and lunch.

You returned home, walked into the bathroom because finally you remembered your phone, however you did not remember the getting-fried –part of your evening. The phone was on the bottom of the tub that was now empty. The plug leaked and the water had drained away entirely during the night. Your phone was completely done, broken, kaput. This you had to note as you tried to put the power back on. You checked out the micro-USB –port more carefully and it had melted. Yep, that phone was not going to work anymore. Luckily it was not your new phone, just the one that you used for music during your baths. This was exactly why you did not use your favorite phone in the bathroom. That phone you always carried inside your pocket with an emergency charger in your other pocket. The emergency charger had only the wall-plug and a USB-cable that was only about 50cm long. You however preferred chargers with at least 2 meters of freedom to move and usually you just used you USB-extension cable to make any charger better.

After rinsing the bathtub you turned because you thought that you had seen something in the corner of your eye, in the mirror. You stared at your reflection. There was something different about you but even an intense closer look did not tell you what that something was. You chuckled and washed your hands before starting your day with that pizza. You watched the water floating on your hands and your mind slipped away as the sound of running water filled your mind. You raised your head and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your reflection looked different again, almost like your eye had been melting. You touched your cheek and made sure that your eye was still where it was supposed to be.

Then you realized that it was the mirror that was melting and the closer you looked, the more “alive” it looked. You reached to touch the rippling surface with your fingertips and suddenly you felt like you had been sucked into the other side. You did not even have time to react yet alone screen when you realized that you were in a dark room where the only light came from your mirror, but this time it looked like a window to your apartment, to your bathroom to be exact. It was strange because you were completely sure that behind that mirror was nothing but an outer wall and drop from the 7th floor, right down to the pavement.

“Maybe I was wrong” you thought and noticed a faint sound of people talking in the distance. You actually recognized your neighbors arguing like they always did but then there was also something else. A sound of jukebox playing old music. The next thing you noticed was that there was a door. You decided to go and see what was behind that door since it was getting more and more obvious that wherever you were, there was no other way out. The door was not locked so you pushed it open slowly. Then you walked further and for your surprise you were in a place that looked like a… 

Pub.


	2. At the pub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sit down and enjoy a cold apple cider!

You looked around and the people were wearing clothes that looked a bit too retro for your taste. There was a constant chatter going on which however died instantly when your phone started ringing. Your ringtone was your favorite song that now started to play with a loud volume. It was the ex-coworker calling because he was just dying to know if you were going to share the risk with him and invent the next Facebook. You stared at the people who kept staring back at you and asked “what? Have you not seen a phone before? Jeez!” and answered the call after scoffing and shaking your head disapprovingly.

\- Hey, it is not a good moment… Hey… I promised that I will let you know but I need a couple of days to think it through… Yes… Yes, I do understand what you’re trying to accomplish here but can you understand that the competition is just… I am sorry to say this but I do not think you should be spending time with “Facescape”! Yes I know what happened to MySpace, yes… I was at MySpace until I moved to Facebook… 

you kept talking to your phone as you navigated through the crowd to the bar counter. The man on the phone kept talking although there were some problems with the reception that started to appear when you moved further away from the door. You leaned to the bar counter as you listened your ex-coworker talking and noticed the man behind the bar walking to you. You mimicked him to wait for a second and then made the “blaa-blaa-blaa” -gesture with your hand. 

\- No, I am sorry but honestly though, as a nerd… as a friend to another, please, create something else… No… we have Instagram for that… And Periscope for that… LinkedIn… Uhuh, uhuh… The point being that the field of social media is crowded! It would require a shit-ton of marketing to even draw any attention… I do think that you have good ideas, just “Facescape” is not necessarily one of them-

You pressed the phone against your shoulder as you focused on the bartender and said that you would love a dry apple cider if they had it. You took your visa electron card from the card holder that was attached to your flip-cover of your phone. You handed it to the man behind the bar but he looked at you with a confused look on his face.  
\- Just hold on a second. you said to the phone and then focused on the man.  
\- What? you asked because he just kept staring at you.  
\- What am I supposed to do with this? the man asked with a British accent.  
\- Uhm… Excuse me? you asked and looked at the man with a puzzled look on your face. He shook his head and looked increasingly annoyed. You heard the man in the other end of your phone call shouting your name so you excused yourself for a moment before pressing the phone on your ear again. You told the caller that you were in a tricky situation and asked him to hold on. Then you shifted your focus back on the bartender.

\- Come on! Don’t tell me that you do not accept visa electron! you exclaimed and then told the guy on the phone that you would call him back as soon as possible. You hung up and put the phone into your pocket. Your conversation had been eavesdropped by a young man who had noticed you entering the pub and talking to yourself with your hand on your ear. He had walked from the corner table to the bar counter without you even noticing him and was now standing right next to you. You recognized his voice immediately when he told the bartender that he would pay for the lady’s drink. He was the guy from the dream. You turned to face him and yes, those eyes you recognized as well. He was definitely the guy from your dream.

\- Well thank you. This very rarely happens that my card does not “work”… meaning of course that it is not accepted as a payment method and not that I did not have any money on my bank account, because I do but… Because usually visa-cards are accepted everywhere and therefore I never carry cash. This, what you did here today, will not be forgotten because quite frankly my friend, you’re a lifesaver. you said and raised a toast “to the knights in the black jackets”.

\- You are not from here, are you? the man said suddenly. He ordered a pint for himself and paid for it, however as he did that, his attention never left you. You looked at him curiously and after a small thinking-silence you answered  
\- No…  
\- Let me guess, you came from the mirror. he said and stared at you with more intensity as he rubbed his forehead with his index finger and then ran his fingers through his hair casually. You sipped your drink and almost spilled it when you head him saying that “from the mirror” –part. You swallowed quickly and chuckled before answering.  
\- Good guess. you said and continued chuckling, sipped your drink again and looked around. You were totally sure that you had slipped and hit your head and none of this was real although the cold cider did taste real and the cold glass felt real as well.

\- My name is Charles Xavier. Would you kindly accompany me to that corner table so we can talk privately? the man said and pointed at his table.  
\- Yeah sure. you said and took the glass as you were about to follow this Charles –guy to the table. However it was a very private table and you were a bit hesitant to follow a complete stranger to the darkest and furthest corner in the entire pub. However suddenly your mind felt calm and before you had even noticed taking too many steps, you were sitting at the table, staring at the glass that was filled halfway with golden, slightly sparkling liquid. You looked around and mumbled “what-the-fuck” when you realized that you had no real memories about walking to the table after you had started to hesitate. It was almost like your mind had been hijacked or put on an autopilot for 30 seconds. “Creepy” you thought and shook the feeling away.

\- So… Charles said and sipped his beer. He kept his eyes focused on you as he rubbed his forehead again. You felt that he was basically reading your mind, although, surely that was impossible. It however was what he was doing because he was a powerful telepath.  
\- (Y/N) from (the place you live)… How did you get here? he asked after an awkward silence. You leaned back in the booth and crossed your arms. You looked at him with a defiant, yet polite look on your face as you tried to figure out what was the meaning of that question. He had mentioned the “mirror” before, was it possible that he knew something? Maybe it was only a coincidence… There was no way that he could actually know how you had really gotten here. Wherever “here” was and if “here” was even real.

\- Uhm… I just walked through the door. That is how people usually enter places… is it not? you answered with a slightly smart-ass-y tone. None of this was true anyway so there was no real reason to be not-a-miss-smarty-pants. It was not every day when you realized that you were dreaming. Oh it opened quite nice opportunities!  
Charles chuckled a little and said “that is true”. He drank half of his beer as one long gulp.  
\- Hey! How did you know my name? Reading my mind, are you? you asked with a sarcastic tone.  
\- In the matter of fac-  
\- Ha-ha! I know you must have seen it written in my credit card. So mystery solved. you stated and drank more of the cider, the glass was getting almost empty now, which was a shame really. It did taste very real and it made you hope that you had dreams like that more often.

\- When you are born, dear? Charles asked. He was concentrating on you again and you could swear that you felt him scratching the surface of your mind. It was slightly irritating and annoyingly fascinating at the same time.  
\- I think the right word is “were” and I was born in (year). you answered. You shook your head and enjoyed the moments when you got to correct this handsome stranger somehow. The way he was looking at you made you feel calm but you knew that surely there was something behind that stare.  
\- Ah well… this might come as a shock for you, but you are in the 60’s now. he stated. You burst into laughter immediately.

\- No way! you exclaimed. You did not believe a word he was saying mostly because you were still convincing yourself that you were only sleeping. It was an entertaining, very original dream so you had to congratulate your mind for putting up such a show this time. Usually your dreams were just… boring… Well, okay, not boring but they definitely were not like this. Charles however took a newspaper that had been folded on the table and showed you the date. You looked at him with a curious look on your face.  
\- Sure… whatever. I will soon wake up and it will be 2016-  
\- Yes because that is the year that you’re from.  
\- …and I will be in my own bed and all this… it just never happened at all. you said and emphasized the word “this” with pointing out everything around you with your both index fingers. When you had finished your sentence you made a “puff” gesture with your hands as a you had been a magician who performed a trick and now is showing his audience that her hands are indeed empty. 

Charles leaned back in his chair and then asked after a moment of evaluating silence  
\- Tell me, how did you survive that electrocution?  
\- The what? you asked and it was obvious that you genuinely had no idea of what he was talking about. What he asked was crazy! If you had been electrocuted you would be… dead, and to be honest, you did not like that scenario too much. No, dreaming was better. It meant that you got to wake up at some point. Dying… not fun. Dreaming… plenty of fun. Unless you were stuck in a nightmare, then it was not fun.

Charles focused his mind and started to go through your memories. He raised his finger on his forehead again and even though he was trying to mask what he was doing, you noticed. You felt his mind knocking at yours although you did not quite know what it meant. He saw the neighbor coming to knock on your door to let you know that the maintenance man was not coming before Monday and that the electricity was off in the entire building.

\- What are you doing? you asked and stared into his eyes as he stared through yours straight into your mind. In a flash he knew your entire life story. “Stop it” you said inside your mind and intentionally closed your memories from him. You imagined your mind as a big computer and he was hacking through your files. You focused your mind and started to click the opened files away. Little by little you managed to shut Charles out entirely. He saw your mind as a hallway with countless amount of doors on the both sides. He had managed to open the doors and visit the rooms that represented to him your memories, but suddenly he had been pulled out and finally he had been staring at a door that said “system locked, insert password”.

\- How did you do that? he asked with wide eyes and then finished the beer.  
\- My dream, my rules. you said and finished the drink. You were quite ready to wake up now so therefore got up from the table and bowed theatrically before walking to the door that you had used to get into the pub in the first place. You heard the bartender shouting “oi” when you opened it.

You found yourself staring at a small closet-room that was hosting cleaning supplies. The next thing you did was to try to wake yourself up. You pinched yourself and when you did not wake up you started to panic a little. Again you heard that familiar, surprisingly calming voice in your head, telling you to return to the table before you drew more attention to yourself. You closed the closet-door and walked back to the table, sat down and stared at Charles with a confused look on your face.

\- It seems that I am stuck. you stated. Your tone was deeply frustrated and although you tried to mask the feeling of being stuck, which you hated by the way because it made you feel like you had been trapped into the corner, your current state of mind was shining through your cool exterior.  
\- Yes and I think that it would be better if you followed me.  
\- Followed you? you scoffed. "To follow a complete stranger would be insane" you thought.  
\- Yes. I live nearby- he said. “Well, follow a complete stranger to his home would be even more insane” you thought. The look on the mans face changed for a moment and for a fraction of it he got stumbled in his words.  
\- …and… uhm… and I can, if needed, offer you a place to stay for a while. he continued after he had gathered his thoughts again. It was very uncommon for Charles to lose his train of thought that way and even stumble in his words but he had heard your thoughts, since you had basically yelled them at him. However you did not know it yourself.  
\- Stay? What do you mean “stay”? I cannot stay! you stated. Charles got up and left the table. You followed him out from the pub because he seemed to be the only person in this fucked up dream of yours who actually made any sense… or not, but still, since you had no idea where you were… it was the only dream-logical thing to do to follow “the white rabbit”. In the real life however, staying in the public place would had been the smartest thing to do.

You looked around and could not recognize your surroundings. Where you were supposed to be, was winter, here however it was summer… besides the surroundings did not look like a city at all, not your neighborhood at least, but more like a countryside town somewhere in the UK. You had seen the scenery in some BBC-movies or television series so you kind of had an idea where you were but there was no way you could had been there for real. “Yep, it is not real” you thought as you followed Charles to the car that had been parked on the other side of the road from the pub.  
\- It is real. Charles said and opened the door to his car for you. You laughed and thought “as if!” as you sat down, watched him walking and then getting to the driver’s seat. He was going to start the car when he saw you looking for something.

\- Uhm… seatbelts? you asked after not being able to locate them in the car.  
\- What are those? Charles chuckled. “Never mind” you mumbled and felt very insecure and rebellious without one.  
After driving for a moment through beautiful rural area, you saw a big, fancy building in the end of the driveway. “Right” you mumbled and still kept pinching yourself. Charles parked the car and you got out. You were greeted with a silence that you had never heard before; only wind and the sound of birds singing in the forest nearby. Where you came from there was always some kind of background noise, cars, sirens… traffic, airplanes… but here, in the middle of the English country side “in the 60’s” it was very pleasantly… peaceful. Even your phone had no reception there. It made you feel slightly uncomfortable but there were now bigger things to worry about than your lack of Internet connection.


	3. Mutations and mutants... Hah!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's add Erik in the mix because... well... why the hell not!

Charles asked you to follow him in and after weighting your options through again you decided to so. The mansion was incredible, grand but still cozy. Charles’ footsteps echoed in the large hallway as you were being led to the sitting room. You looked around and let out a small “wow” whisper. There in the sitting room was a tall man with brown hair standing by the window, looking out into the sunny horizon. He was dressed in dark clothes; black turtleneck shirt and dark trousers.  
\- Erik! Come and meet (Y/N). Charles said and at the moment the man heard his name being called, he turned to face Charles and you. The man had ice-blue eyes and you could sense plenty of suppressed anger in him. As you got closer to him you got a strong feeling of metal and somehow you would not had been surprised if hand had felt cold. He looked at you and then walked closer to shake your hand.

You took his hand and yes, you had been right, there was something about him that at the same time pushed you away and pulled you closer and you could not shake the feeling of something “metallic” about him. You just could not point out what exactly it was.  
\- Nice to meet you, (Y/N). Charles mentioned you earlier today. Erik said. He had an accent that was not British, not like Charles’ at least. They both had very nice accents and you complimented yourself for making such wonderful details up for this dream of yours.  
\- It is impossible… you answered and felt strange magnetism to the stranger. Maybe it was the strong physical attraction that was messing up with your reasonable brain or maybe it was something else… but you could feel darkness and metal.  
\- Well that is curious. Why is that? he asked and smirked a little. He was a handsome man indeed and when he smirked you could feel your brain giving an error message of system failure, operating system crashed. You however managed to restore the previous session quickly so the stranger most likely did not notice that little… bug in your system. You got a feeling that Charles had noticed and you felt him instantly knocking at the door of your mind.

\- I just met him so… you answered and smiled politely, just so you could mask the fact that you could sense things about him, the man called Erik, that you had never sensed about anyone else. You figured that whatever you sensed was private and it was better that he did not know that you knew.  
\- I see. My mistake. Erik said and kept staring at you intensely. He was still holding your hand although you both had stopped shaking hands a while ago. Erik asked Charles silently “is she a telepath?” in his mind and Charles shook his head. Erik smiled and then let go your hand.

Charles gestured you to sit down and asked the maid to bring some tea. It was getting obvious that Charles had money. He was clearly an educated person and definitely a successful one, for his age anyway. He told you that he was good friends with Erik and this was the mansion that had been owned by Charles’ family for a long time. Charles wanted to impress you so he mentioned all his accomplishments in the field of studying and science, specializing in the mutations and genetics.  
You kept listening but honestly, his voice started to muffle away when he kept going on and on about the genetics research and stuff, such as mutations. Sure you were impressed but hey, you had Google. If your dream took place in the 60’s, surely you knew more about the genetics than the average person at the time. Hell, the Japanese scientists were able to grow a human ear on the back of a rat and in about five years, those ears could be grown to order… so if this Charles-dude thought that he was the only one in that room who knew anything about scienc-

\- …I have been contacting mutants with Cerebro… It is a giant antenna –thing that I built and then suddenly you were there. A spark of light in the gray haze and after a moment you were actually there in that pub, stepping out from that closet. I must say that I was very excited to meet you since I have never met a mutant that was born with it but activated the X-gene as the result of an accident-  
\- Wait-wait-wait… wait for a second! you said and stood up. You were staring at them both with wide eyes on the verge or bursting into laughter. Mutations you knew… like in the form of evolution, sure, but actual mutants with mutant powers? It was clear that you did not believe a word Charles was saying to you. There were no mutants in your world. If there were, you surely would had read about them.

At that moment of disbelief Erik raised a spoon off the table with... his mind? He was not touching it. You almost knocked the chair over when you took a couple of steps back as a reaction and almost fell since your foot got tangled with the edge of a large, very heavy carpet. You stared at the spoon with terrified but mesmerized eyes. Now that was cool but that was not possible.” Ah, yes… it was just a dream, of course it was possible because why the hell not?” you thought and calmed your mind.  
\- Please. Charles said and pointed at the seat. You hesitated for a moment because you were not trusting either of the two strangers.

\- Put the spoon down and I am willing to consider about the sitting-down –thing. you said to Erik with a firm tone. Your voice was not shaking and for your surprise you were in the top of the situation although you so totally were not on the top of it at all. Erik lowered the spoon and stared at you with a look on his face that communicated that he was clearly waiting you to make your move now. You rubbed your chin and then after a couple of deep breaths and thinking your options through, you decided to sit down.

Charles continued explaining the situation to you. He had been reaching out mentally to the other mutants when he had seen you popping out in the distance. His connection to you had been hazy but he had managed to connect your mind but when he did, he had been surprised to find out that you actually were not a mutant, by birth at least. You said a couple of times “this is insane” but every time you said that, Erik kept lifting the spoon from the teacup with a small gesture. No, he was not touching the spoon and you even waved your hand on it to see if there were any thin strings lifting it up. But there were none. That made you state firmly “that is insane” a couple of times.

\- So are you saying that I got electrocuted and it somehow unblocked my “mutant gene”  
\- The X-gene, yes. Charles specified. He was very proud of the research he had done concerning the subject and therefore he wanted to correct you. “Whatever” you scoffed and continued  
\- …and I was able to travel back in time from 2016 to the early 60’s and you can read minds… you said and stared at Charles and then shifted your eyes on Erik as you continued  
\- …and you can move metal with your mind.  
\- Yes. Charles said and tried to hack into your mind again. This time you had imagined a password that kept him out, for now at least. As long as you imagined your mind as a highly secured computer, he was unable to access it. Charles was annoyed, puzzled and fascinated at the same time. He had never met anyone who could do that without being a telepath and you were not a telepath. He kept staring the mental image of the text “insert password” that was painted with red, firm letters on a gray steel door.

Charles recoiled when you excused yourself to the bathroom. You stood up and were walked there by Erik. It was a big mansion and you would had gotten lost by yourself for sure. You locked the door and stared at the sink as you put the water running. You concentrated on the sound of water that muffled everything else away. When you had reached again that state of having your mind completely blank you raised your head and stared at the mirror. This time it did not change. It did not look like it had been either alive or melting. It was just a plain mirror.

You sighed and turned around to lean onto the sink after you had turned off the water. This was the weirdest and longest dream ever and it was almost too realistic. Besides never before you had actually realized that you were dreaming. You had always been interested in lucid dreaming but you had never done it, you had only read about it. And if you were having a lucid dream, then according to everything you had read, you were supposed to be able to control the dream. That was the whole point of realizing that you’re dreaming in the first place!

Soon there was a soft knock at the bathroom door. You closed your eyes for a moment and after you had calmed down your mind you exited the room. The person who was at the door was Erik.  
\- Are you alright? he asked and put his hand on your shoulder.  
\- No… I really am not alright, thank you very much for asking although I think that it is quite obvious that I am not alright. you answered and stepped away.  
\- Is there something that I can do to make it any better? Perhaps a game of chess will make you more comfortable. he suggested with a soft tone. “A game of chess? Are you freaking serious?” you thought but did not dare to insult the handsome man who apparently just wanted to comfort you somehow.  
\- Just get me home. you answered and crossed you arms as you walked to the window to stare into the horizon. The view was beautiful but it did not bring you comfort now. You checked your phone although you knew it already that there was not going to be any reception.

You excused yourself into the garden because you needed some fresh air to think. Thinking and reasoning things out was something that you were very good at so therefore you needed to get on the top of the situation and you had to do it now. You did not like this dream anymore. Sure you had met two very nice looking guys and the plot of the dream had been creative, there was no denying of that, but you were tired. “Can you be tired in a dream?” you thought as you walked further away from the house until you were standing at a decorative pond, or more like a fountain.

\- Why am I here? you asked as you stared at the skies and watched the clouds sailing across it.  
\- What is this place? you mumbled and closed your eyes for a moment. You breathed and let the fresh air of the countryside fill in your lungs. You sighed and decided to sit down for a moment on the edging of the fountain that had been made of stone. The stone ledge was warm because the sun had been warming it up the entire day and it had been made by skilled craftsmen… or women, most likely men because the mansion as well as the garden were old.  
You kept staring at the rippling water, at your own reflection, strangely distant and distorted. The sound of the fountain filled your mind and without noticing it you were slipping away. You were not really focusing your mind on anything. You reached down to touch the water with your fingertips without even realizing what you were doing. You felt the warm water on your skin and you opened your eyes.

You were in your own bathroom, sitting in the bathtub to be exact listening to your favorite playlist on the verge of falling asleep. You closed your eyes and leaned back against the towel-roll that was supporting you neck. You were now sitting there in your top and jeans but in your current state of mind you did not even notice. All you wanted was to fall asleep. This time however you heard a voice, that you did not recognize, in your head calling you, pointing out that you looked good with your clothes on although usually people took their clothes off when they went took a bath. You could hear his voice through the music, or not trough, more like coming from inside when the music was coming from outside. Suddenly you were completely awake and alert which caused you to jump a little. As you shifted, the phone fell into the tub and the only thing you managed to think was “oh shi-“. Then you felt a terrible pain as the electricity ran through your body and everything went black.

Charles had been following you from the terrace. He had sensed your mind going blank and then suddenly he was in your bathroom with you. You were listening to strange sounding music and breathing calmly with your eyes closed. He tried to ignore the fact that your clothes were glued to your body making you look almost naked. He noticed that your mind felt different; this must have been the moment before the accident. "Interesting" he thought and decided to speak to you inside your head which then made you recoil from your thoughts and move in the tub causing the phone to fall. The moment was broken when his thoughts were disturbed by a sound of something falling into water.

He shifted his attention from you mind to the actual moment that he was living and saw that you were not anymore sitting on the edge of the fountain but your hair was floating on the surface of the water as you had fallen into the water. Charles cursed and rushed to the fountain which was not that far away from the terrace.  
He ran to the fountain and jumped in. You were floating there with your face down among the water lilies. He turned you around and held you on the surface. Your skin and clotes were surprisingly warm, almost as you had been in a hot bath just a second ago and he could smell the same bubble bath –scent that he had smelled when he had been in your bathroom with you, just a moment ago.  
Charles removed your hair from your face and called your name. He started to panic since you were not breathing. Suddenly however you opened your eyes and gasped for air with a violent motion. It took a moment for you to realize where you were. This was not your bathroom anymore.

You looked at Charles with terrified eyes. Now you remembered what had happened. You had been electrocuted in your own shower by your phone and meant only one thing. You panicked and stumbled out from the fountain as Charles stared at you with a look on his face that was a mixture of confused and relieved. He also noticed that you were now wearing different clothes than before falling into the fountain, or actually the clothes were the same, or were they? He had seen you in the bathtub in your clothes that you had worn before but the more he thought about it, he noticed that he had seen those clothes only in the bathtub although he could had sworn that he had seen them on you dry... but it was not possible because you had been wearing the clothes that you were now wearing, the entire time.  
You tripped once over as your mind was spinning furiously; what was real and what was not? Erik had heard Charles shouting your name and he ran to you when he saw you on your all fours on the grass, coughing the water out from your lungs. Your clothes were soaked, as well as your hair. Erik took a glance at his friend who was still standing in the fountain. Charles raised his hands as a sign that he did not know what had happened.  
Erik touched your shoulder as he knelt in front of you. You shifted your eyes at his, stared at him with a shocked look on your face and terror in your eyes. The only thing you could say was

\- I am dead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Angel_Style and Lovelygirl2406 for requesting continuation for the one-shot. I hope this will live up to your expectations :'D
> 
> Yes, based on and transformed into a real story from an one-shot.


	4. Being stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you dead or are you just stuck?

\- You are not dead. Erik answered with a calm voice. You looked away and closed your eyes. It all made sense now, why the dream just continued. You were not ready to let go. Your life had only started! It was unfair to be ripped away from everything you had held dear and all so suddenly.  
\- Your heart is beating, there is a healthy color on your cheeks. You are not dead. he reasoned and smiled a bit as he put his fingers under your chin and guided you to look at him. Your makeup had smudged from the sudden dive but now there were also tears in your eyes.  
But it did not matter what some stranger said. Whatever he reasoned, you surely had a counter reason ready and you would be able to shoot his arguments down with no problems whatsoever. Therefore you stood up and stated with a cold voice   
\- I was there. Just now and I felt it! It happened and I died. So… whatever you might say or do… it doesn’t really matter, does it?  
Erik did not answer. He was certain that he was not dead, he was certain that Charles was not dead and he was equally certain that you were not dead either. Whatever you had experienced or seen, it was not true, not in the way you now assumed it to be. Maybe you had seen only one glimpse of what had happened but then Charles had pulled you back so you had not seen how it ended and therefore you now thought that you were indeed dead. Erik stood up and watched you staring at the skies with a sad look on your face. 

Charles stumbled out from the fountain finally and walked to you.  
\- Let me show you a room where you can get some rest. he said and put his hand on your back. He was going to guide you gently but you only turned your head, stared into his eyes and said  
\- What’s the point?  
The tears were escaping from your eyes quite freely now and you were frozen still, unwilling to move. Charles raised his fingers on his forehead and suddenly you were in a comfortable looking guestroom. You did not appreciate him hijacking your mind like that but you did not have any strength to resist him. You just did no care.  
You were brought clean, dry clothes and you went to your private bathroom to change your soaked clothes away. Not that it would had mattered but you wanted to dive into that soft-looking bed and the wet clothes just felt like they had been trapping you. After changing the clothes you crawled on the bed and lay down on your back.  
Erik and Charles agreed that they would keep guard by staying with you. Charles decided that he would take the first watch and try to talk some sense into you. He carried an armchair next to the bed and sat down. He had a book in his hands and he started to read it. You did not pay any attention to what he was doing. There was no reason for you to give a damn.

\- Maybe if you slept- Charles said as he was still focused into the book.  
\- Sleep? you scoffed and then added one defiant “ha!”   
\- Yes… you would surely feel better after you’ve rested. he said with a calm, soft voice that was strangely soothing.  
\- You know… you said and sat up. You took a large pillow and hugged it. Charles put the book away and concentrated on you.  
\- I was so sure that this was only a dream… I thought that I took a bath and went to bed, fell asleep and when I thought that I woke up, I actually didn’t… I just continued sleeping and this was nothing but a weird, fucked up dream-  
\- It is no dream-  
\- No… It is not. you groaned. It was your point exactly.  
\- Well, it is good that we agree-  
\- It is not a dream because I never got that far. I… took a bath, with my clothes on for some reason, I heard your voice in my head although at that point I did not know that it was you… You woke me up and I moved and the phone fell into the tub! I thought that got out from bath, took the soaked clothes off and went to bed but it never actually happened. Do you know why?

\- Why?  
\- Because I never left the bathtub. I am laying there as we speak. you said and returned to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling. Charles was silent. He realized that you had changed your own past by returning into that moment. He also realized that your mutant-power was far more dangerous than he had thought; after all it was dangerous to move from a time to another because you could possibly change something in the past that then change something in the future. Time was almost like a calm pond, normally undisturbed but if you threw a stone into it, it caused ripples that then spread onward and affected the things to come. Therefore you had to be very careful and make as little waves as possible.

But there was something else as well. Maybe if he had not talked to you, maybe you had not moved and the weird-looking thing that you called “phone” had not fallen into the tub. Most likely it would had happened anyway but there was no way to say for sure. This made him feel kind of responsible for you. What he had done, commented on your appearance which had been stupid and very intrusive, had now brought you’re here.  
Charles decided that it was now his first priority to teach you how to control that power of yours. He had assumed that you were able to only move from a time or dimension to another and only to observe but apparently you were also able to change things by interfering. He was wondering if in your world no one was being born with the X-gene already activated but it activated only when something like this happened. He had to study you. He had to be allowed inside your mind to see what had happened to you, how you had become like this.

\- I wonder how long it takes when anyone starts missing me. you began and turned on your side to face away from Charles.  
\- In a way it was a good thing that I died in the bathtub… it will be easier to clean for sure… now that my corpse is not rotting in my bed or anything. I wonder if the plug of my tub will leak or if I’ll turn into a human soup.  
\- You will not-  
\- Because I am not dead? Ha! I woke up from the bathtub so relieved that I had not died… I was so happy about being alive… and I went to bed, fell asleep, woke up… got a pizza… Oh I really wanted to eat pizza!  
\- I will order you a pizza right away… We have pizzas in this dimension as well.  
You chuckled sarcastically and turned on your side to face Charles.  
\- Dimension? So this is not just “back in the 60’s” anymore? You’re saying that this is the whole another dimension… Yes… I guess you’re right…   
\- Well I am happy that you agr-  
\- Because I am dead and maybe you are too but you just haven’t realized it yet. you stated with a weak tone.  
\- You’re no-  
\- Can you please just leave me alone? you asked and closed your eyes. You felt quite beaten even for a dead person and you had always thought that the dead felt nothing. You had also assumed that now that you had realized that you were dead, you would “see the light” and move on but all you had was this early 60’s and a mansion with two good looking “mutants” whatever that meant.  
Charles stood up and took his book. He turned away and touched his forehead. This time he hijacked your mind and sneakily forced you to fall asleep. When he was certain that you were indeed asleep, he sat down and started to read again.

There were so many questions bothering him now. They were driving insane because he did not know answers to them. He was wondering if he or Erik were different now that you had changed the events a bit. He did not know because whatever had happened before did not exist anymore. Most likely you did not know either and it made it even more important to teach you to control it so you would not accidently change something entirely. He wanted to know more about your world. Did it have the same history that his did? Had there been the World Wars, Nazis… Were there any other mutants and if there were, were they hunted down or did they get to live in peace? In his world the majority of people did not know that the mutants existed and the ones that did feared them.

He started to think how he could use your powers to his benefit. What if he could somehow take you into some event in Erik’s life for example and fix it? Erik was a good friend of his but there was a lot of darkness in him. What if you could change that? How deep into the time you could go? You were well past your own timeline now since it would take more than a decade or two for even to be born but here you were, living and breathing the fresh air of the early 60’s.  
Erik walked into the room without knocking and startled Charles.

\- How is she? he asked as he took a shawl that was folded on the bed and spread it on you. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on your knee. You mumbled something and sighed.  
\- She is… still convinced that she is dead. Charles answered.  
\- Can you say anything about her power?  
\- Apparently she can also change the course of events. I thought first that she is able only to observe but apparently there is more than that.  
Erik shifted his gaze from you to Charles who seemed troubled. He was nervous and he was avoiding looking at you.  
\- What is it, friend? Erik asked. Charles did not answer at first. He felt bad for you and did not know whether he could ever tell you it or if you knew it already. It was obvious that you had heard his voice in your head and you the accident had now happened because of that. What if you would blame him for “killing you” although Charles was still entirely sure that you were not dead. He did not answer anything for a moment. 

\- I caused this. he answered finally.  
\- What? How? We live in different times, it is not poss-  
\- It is more complex than that, Erik. Apparently she was here and the things were as they were but when she fell into that fountain… I was there in the bathroom with her, just a moment before it happened. She was there, in the bathtub, sitting fully clothed…  
\- So? Erik asked. At this point Charles stood up and motioned Erik to follow him into the hallway so they would not wake you up now that you finally were sleeping peacefully.  
\- And I talked to her, Erik. She got scared and the accident happened. Charles admitted.  
\- Are you sure? Erik asked. He was surprised.  
\- Of course I am sure! I was there! Charles exclaimed.  
\- Alright… but… you said that she was here even before, which means that the accident would had happened anyway. Erik stated and tried to calm his friends mind down.  
\- Maybe so, but it is not for certain. What if the accident would not had happened? She would be in her own world, happy!

\- To be honest, Charles, I am quite pleased that she is here.  
\- Are you? Charles asked with a surprised tone. Erik chuckled.  
\- Yes. She after all is very pretty…  
\- And smart. Charles added.   
\- Yes, that too! She was not that impressed about all your degrees and PhD’s. Erik teased and started to laugh silently. Charles groaned. It was true; he had tried to impress you but he had only managed to bore you. Maybe in your world everyone was interested in genetics and knew about those things. Maybe they were being taught in school or maybe the information was easily accessible. Maybe you were a scientist yourself. Oh, he liked that idea… besides Erik was right; you were very beautiful.

\- Are you thinking that we should try to benefit from her gift? Erik asked. He could see that Charles was interested in your power and all the possibilities it opened; maybe they could use it for good and right some wrongs but it would mean that they would have to use you and it was an idea that Erik did not like too much.  
\- Think about it Erik. What if your mother did not have to die? What would it mean to you? It has been the thing that has defined your entire life… up to this point.  
\- Yes, but what if we change that and it could change the world in ways that we cannot even imagine now? We cannot use her gift, no matter how beneficial it would be! What if we put her into danger, could you live with that? Erik asked with a firm tone. Charles did not answer.  
\- Well… We need to study it and she has to learn how to control it. Otherwise it could be dangerous. Like you said; if she changes something in the past, it will change things in the future too, but not all changes are for the worse, Erik.  
\- You have a right to have that opinion, Charles, but I do not like that idea. I rather deal with my own pain than take that kind of risk.

That was the end of the conversation. Charles returned into the guestroom and started to read again but then he was being called to take care of some business elsewhere. After a couple of hours you woke up. It took a moment for you to realize where you were; you had thought that you were in your own bed because the bed was so comfortable and it felt like home, well, almost atleast, but as soon as you opened your eyes you noticed that no, you were not home. You were in that mansion, definitely not home. You turned your head and saw the armchair now empty. In a way you were relieved but also disappointed since Charles and Erik were the only positive things that were left in the world, although nothing really mattered anymore…  
… but you could not deny the fact that they were very handsome and charming –both of them. When you got out from the bed, the door opened and Erik stepped in.  
\- How are you feeling? he asked and was bold enough to sit on the edge of the bed although you were not in the bed anymore. He however gestured you to sit next to him and after thinking about it for a moment, you did. You shifted a large pillow behind your back so you were able to sit there comfortably. You sighed and smiled a little. It was not a happy smile but at least you tried.

\- Pretty… alive considering…  
\- That crappy? he joked and smiled.  
You started to laugh but your laughter was cut short when Erik stared into your eyes intensely. You could feel the darkness he had inside him. It was almost like a chain around his chest which prevented him from breathing freely.  
\- What happened to you? you asked suddenly. Erik looked away, it was obvious that he was not ready to talk about it. You did not shift your gaze away, the darkness in him was just too luring, like a strong magnet. You had hoped to get something else to think about but Erik was not going to provide it to you. He stood up and left the room instead.  
A couple of days passed like that; you stayed in bed, cried and refused believing that you were alive or that anything you did from this point on really mattered. You were in a denial and angry for not finding the light at the end of the tunnel and whenever Charles tried to talk to you about your mutant-power, you just shut your mind off completely. Sometimes you even told him to get lost, which was very rude considering that you were in his mansion, sleeping in his bed, so to speak.

Erik was avoiding your company now. He did not want to talk about his past and he was surprised that you even sensed that in him, his troubled past. Erik asked Charles repeatedly if he was sure that you were not a telepath but Charles did not change his mind about that. Charles reasoned that you had now ability to kind of sense other mutants’ powers as well as their strongest feelings. He did not tell the last part to Erik because he was worried that the darkness in Erik was the strongest of his feelings. So strong in fact that it was the only thing that you could sense about him. About Charles you were able to sense his curiosity when it came to your world and this new “mutant-power”. He claimed that you were able to create a wormhole through the fabric of time and move from one point to another. But it was not the only thing that he claimed; he was saying that you could also change things and it made your power dangerous.

It sounded completely stupid to you but the reality was that you were still stuck. As the days passed you started to accept that maybe you were not dead after all. It was mostly due to Charles who managed to convince you to let him in your head. He had sat you down and then you had opened your mind to him. He had seen you getting out from the bathtub, talking to the neighbor and then going to bed, waking up and finally entering his dimension through the portal you had created by an accident. He had told you with a calm voice that there was no way you were dead and you had believed him.

After that you had become more convinced that your own memories were real and you were not dead, only stuck. Therefore you tried to empty your mind and create a portal but it was not working. It was not happening when you wanted it to and if what Charles said about you being able to change things, if that was indeed true, you could not slip in and out accidentally.  
Charles was convinced that there was a reason why you had come in the first place. He was almost obsessed about it. Maybe you were supposed to change something in the past and therefore it was important that he would teach you to control it. He however did not say it to you aloud because there were always risk that you would not be able to return back and it would mess up your life completely and yes, change the future.

He was also interested if you could take someone into the past or into the future with you. He was certain that you could take him with you if you let him into your mind when you shifted over, then he was able to observe you and speak to you, maybe even hijack your mind if he concentrated well enough, but what if you could not only open a portal but take people in and out from them?  
He had also managed to find out that you remembered the previous version of the past if you knew where to look, so to speak. It was in the “recycle bin” of your mind and that part of your brain had not been easy to access, not at first that was, but you had kept practicing with Charles’ help and with time you had become quite fond of him.  
One day, in the beginning of October you were sitting by a window, looking out into the rainy horizon when Charles walked into the sitting room. He came to stand by the window and his goal was to either observe you or maybe even sneak into your mind which was usually locked away from him. It annoyed him that you were able to block him by imagining that password-thing.

\- I know what you’re thinking Charles.  
\- I did not know that you are able to read minds now. he chuckled. He had been teaching you how to empty your mind and you had managed to create a portal once or twice but this time you had not entered them since you did not know where you would end up and if you could return since your mind still got quite easily distracted.  
\- I can sense your curiosity. It defines you, the person who you are. A scientist… You are a smart man, Charles but I think you are a little bit obsessed. you said without shifting your gaze from the garden. It was early autumn and you had been there for almost 4 months already. The trees were turning yellow and it was raining almost every day.  
\- Maybe I am a little. he chuckled and examined your face. He had a crush on you. It had begun when you had allowed him into your mind and he had seen your memories. He had been a little more curious than he was supposed to be and he had actually studied you deeper than you had intended to. He had seen you in love as well as heartbroken and he had fallen a little bit in love with you. He had wanted to tell you that he knew more than you knew but then again, he did not want to risk upsetting you. Neither of you said anything and the only sound there was, was the sound of rain hitting the window.

But you knew that he had been opening the doors to your most personal memories, the ones that located in the basement of your mind. Yes, Charles saw your mind like a very complex building with rooms, winding staircases and narrow hallways. You however imagined your mind as a computer, and when you did, it was pretty simple for you to lock it with a password entirely or when you really wanted to mess him up, you left your mind open but encrypted only the files that he was interested in. Then you chuckled when you felt him groaning.  
\- Tell me Charles… Do you feel guilty when you sneak into the basement?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to GasterSanster as a thank-you for your comment.
> 
> I hope you like this :)
> 
> \- Venla :D


	5. The past, the present, the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry but this chapter will screw up the entire movie-plot -thing so if you don't want to read something that goes against the movie... then this is the perfect place to stop.
> 
> Seriously. I am going to the "wild side"... no, not smut, just... reinventing the whole story :D

\- What are you talking about? he asked like he had no idea, although he knew exactly. He just was not ready to tell you about his feelings and attraction. You had no idea of his feelings and you frankly speaking saw him more as a dear friend than anything more… in romantic sense at least. You were fond of him but in a very warm-friendly way.  
\- I know that when you read my mind, you hardly ever stay where you say that you’ll go. You state that you only study my world and this power-thing… but I know that you have been sneaking around my childhood and my past relationships. Tell me Charles, why? you teased.  
\- How do you know that? he asked with a confused tone.

You burst into laughter. Charles was so adorable when he underestimated your abilities. You were a little bit attracted to Charles although Erik was the one that had caught your eye first and if he let you close, it would make you overjoyed. However you had soon bitterly realized that he was too deep in his own anger to have any place for love in his heart. You had forced yourself to forget about him and think him as your friend only, a very challenging friend indeed. Still you sometimes found yourself thinking about him in a romantic way, hoping that you could rip the darkness out from him and replace it with love.

\- Of course I know. It is my mind after all! you laughed.  
\- Yes… And there are places that you keep hidden from me. Charles stated. He did not like it when you locked your mind from him, especially when you did it to tease him and point out just how little control he had over his power when it came to you.  
\- Of course there are! You would not let me run around in your mind, would you? you exclaimed.  
\- No, I suppose not. he commented and smiled a bit. He had been quite popular among the women in the University, mostly because he always knew the right things to say, but with you he was clueless. Clueless and deeply attracted to you, but he did not know how to make a move or if he even should. You were his friend, a student even and as far as he knew you were interested in Erik anyway. It had been quite clear from the beginning because you always blushed when Erik had smiled to you or when he flirted with you, you always stumbled in your words. But Charles reasoned that you had never made a move because Erik was too troubled to even notice you, or let you close mentally. Erik had kept his distance from you because you had asked what had happened to him in his past. What was the thing that consumed his mind so much that now there was nothing but darkness and pain?

\- So why should I let you then? you asked playfully and smirked.  
\- Because… I am your… teacher… and… there could be something that will be useful in the future. Don't you want to learn to control it entirely? Charles answered. He could not tell you about his attraction. Not yet.  
You groaned and got down from the window ledge. It was so frustrating how Charles kept thinking that the key to mastering the power was hidden inside your memories. You had not been like this for long, just some months. His reasoning made no sense!  
\- You know that I do! you exclaimed when you walked out from the room. You could not deal with Charles now.  
You kept practicing and kept getting better and better. Your mind became more stable and it did not get distracted easily. Even now you did not dare to actually step into the portal once you had opened it and there was never a certain way to know what was on the other side. You couldn’t really pop your head in and take a look.

Life continued like that and every day followed the previous one. Erik was away for long times sometimes and you barely saw him but when you did, you had some conversations about your childhood and about your world. You fell in love with him when he came to visit Charles and your heart broke when he left again. He did not let you close and you knew that when he went to his travels, he did horrible things to the people that deserved it in his opinion.  
When the winter came, you could not do it anymore. You had to let Erik go emotionally and accept the fact that he did not even see you but when the spring came, your heart found love again. This time you found yourself thinking about Charles when you were alone, rolling in your bed. You were thinking if he could hear your thoughts and if one night he would appear in your room when you missed him.

Charles was warm and wise. You trusted him and he always treated you with respect. He was slightly old fashioned and sometimes disapproved the things you did because the way you thought was too modern although he was pretty modern himself.  
Your favorite past time was when you started a conversation about something very insignificant and suddenly you noticed that it was almost morning and you were talking about the meaning of life or something as deep. By the end of the spring he had become your dearest friend and you had fallen in love with him. The only thing was that you did not know if he felt the same way, most likely not, and that made you sad.  
You never hugged him or touched him physically but in your opinion letting him into your mind was much more intimate. You had been allowing him deeper and deeper into your mind and there were only a few things that you kept as a secret from him anymore.

It had been roughly a year since you had ended up in the early 60’s mutant-dimension. You had decided to talk about your feelings to Charles because you could not go further if you did not know whether he felt the same way or not. One reason why you had to know was that you had become quite sure that your skill had been perfected now and if you really wanted to return home, you most likely would be able to do so.  
You startled Charles when he was reading in the sitting room. You basically ran into the room and almost knocked over a chair.  
\- Charles! you exclaimed. You had been practicing your skills almost the entire morning and for the first time you had been in control completely.  
\- Oh… (Y/N)! What… is going… on? he asked.  
\- I think I’ve got it now! you exclaimed and sat down opposite from him.  
\- Well that is good! he complimented and then his face went serious as he realized that you most likely wanted to go home now. He was silent and then forced himself to ask the obvious.

\- Do you want to try going home?  
\- That is the thing that I need to talk you about… you said and it was clear that you were nervous. You stood up and walked to the window. “I think I am in love with you, Charles” you thought as you traced the curtain with your fingertips. Charles stood up and put the book on the coffee table. He was speechless but he sensed that you were waiting for him to say something. “Well?” you asked silently. You knew that he was reading your mind.  
He walked behind you and put his hands on your arms. He caressed the bare skin of your shoulders all the way to your fingertips with his hands gently and then wrapped his arms around you, breathed in the scent of your neck. You put your hands on his and smiled. “Yes… finally! he exclaimed in your mind and made you laugh. You were happy and closed your eyes. 

At that moment Erik rushed in. He had been traveling the world, hunting down the people that he blamed for the horrors of his past for the entire spring and it was the first time in few months that you even saw him.  
\- We need to use her! he shouted. He was boiling with rage because he had just missed his chance to get even with one of them. Charles stepped away from him and tried to calm him down.  
\- What? Charles asked. The more he had learned about your power the less willing he had become to use you to change something in the past. It was partially because he now knew that there were serious risks but also because he did not want to take an unnecessary chance of losing you. He had not told you about his feelings for you before this day and you had had no idea until now.  
\- You, Charles, wanted to use her in the first place. So let’s do it! he said and walked to you. His darkness was making you lose your breath and you froze completely still. He grabbed your had and turned you to face him. You studied his expressions and his ice-blue eyes were burning with anger. You had never seen him like that and the sight made you scared.

\- You once asked what happened to me! he shouted and then he revealed his arm to you. You stared at the numbers that were tattooed on his skin.  
\- They killed my family, robbed everything from me! he said and stared into your eyes intensely.  
\- Erik, be reasonable! Charles shouted. He did not like the way this was heading. No, he did not like this at all. Erik had been against using you at first but then he had gotten more and more interested about the idea as you had learned the secrets of your new power, which was not that new anymore. He had talked about using it with Charles, who had told him “no” and then he had let it go.  
\- If you think me as your friend, you will take me back there and help me finish it before it even starts! Erik said with a cold, firm tone.

\- I cannot! I don’t even know if I can take anyone with me or if I can return-  
\- I don’t care! he said and put a handcuff on your wrist. He did not however have to cuff you to himself because if he wanted you to move, all he needed to do was to think. You tried to remove the handcuff but it was too tight.  
\- Erik, you are not thinking clearly! Charles said and tried to interfere with his mind. Erik however picked a sword that was decorating the wall and moved it with his so it was now threatening Charles. You were completely shocked that Erik would even think threatening his somewhat only friend like that, but now he was not just thinking about it, no, he was doing it. You did not want Charles to be in danger so you told Erik that you would come willingly. “It’s okay” you assured Charles mentally as you tried to prevent him seeing how terrified you were.

Erik made you to follow him into the basement and locked the heavy door behind him. Charles had taught him to control his powers well and now he mastered all sort of tricks. He could keep a door locked even when he was not actively focusing on it.  
He sat you down in a chair that was in a dimly lit storage room and then knelt in front of you.  
\- You need to take me there. he said. His voice was much calmer than it had been before.  
\- Where? you asked and tried to find answers from his eyes.  
\- To my childhood… I need to right the wrongs that happened to my family! Take me there! he said with a begging look on his face.  
\- I cannot do that! you pleaded. The anger that had been gone for a moment came back. He groaned and stood up. There was a small table with glass jars on it. He wiped the jars on the floor with his hand and made you jump as the glass shattered against the dark, stone floor.

\- Why? he exclaimed.  
\- If I’ll take you there… you will be a child! you explained.  
\- Then I’ll need you to kill him for me! he said and put his hands on the back of the chair. You leaned back and tried to remain as calm as you possibly could. You felt his breath on your face but this time it did not feel pleasant, only threatening.  
\- I cannot kill anyone! you whimpered.  
\- You can and you will! Erik shouted. He wanted his enemies dead and he did not care if he had to make you do the dirty work for him. He did not care if it killed you or traumatized you for life. You thought your options through and then you were disturbed when you heard Charles banging at the door, insisting on being let it.  
\- No… there has to be another way. you pleaded. You did not want to kill anyone or risk being taken to the concentration camp yourself. You had seen too many documentaries about the horrors that had happened there to all those people. You understood Erik’s pain, you truly did and hoped that he had told you before so you could had done something… listened to him at least. Maybe the situation had not escalated like this.

\- You will go there or… he said and you immediately felt the handcuff getting tighter. You screamed as the metal cut your skin. You tried to ignore the pain and breath trough it but he was not letting go.  
\- Fine! I will do it! you whimpered and burst into tears. You felt Charles in your mind, talking to you, repeating how sorry he was for this. When Erik heard you saying those words, he loosened the cuff immediately and wrapped a handkerchief around your wrist, although he did not remove the cuff entirely.  
\- But I need Charles to be here and I need it to be done my way. you said after you had calmed down a little. Your wrist was bleeding pretty badly and the pain was making it hard to concentrate.  
\- What? Erik asked.  
\- I will save your family before that even happens. you said and pointed at his wrist. “Or I will at least try” you added.  
\- And I need Charles to guide me… you continued.  
\- Why Charles? Erik asked. He sounded hurt because of that request.  
\- Can’t you see? I cannot take you there or else you will be that little boy… but if you’ll let Charles to reach your mind and then when I’ll go under, he will tell me where to go and how to save you. But… if I’ll do this… it might change everything and I have no idea how because this is a thing that defines you.

You could sense him hesitating.  
\- It might even get you killed. you added.  
\- I will do this if this is what you really want. you said. Maybe this was the thing that had kept you here and the reason why you had met Erik in the first place.  
\- But you have to decide if your friendship with Charles is something that you want to put at risk… as well as the life of your own because it is possible that the future changes and you’ll end up… dead. you spoke to him with a calm voice.  
\- I do not care about Charles! he said and you felt the handcuff getting tighter again. He knew that you were trying to play mind games with him and he did not like that.  
\- What about your own life? you pleaded. You felt the metal getting cutting your skin again as his mind squeezed the cuff against your skin,  
\- Is this life? he scoffed. You felt his anger, his darkness suffocating you and you understood that he had a point. He was in pain and there was no life for him outside that pain. You dropped your head and inhaled deeply. Then you raised your head and said  
\- I need a mirror!

Erik left the room and ran into Charles who was trying to get the door open.  
\- We need a mirror! Erik exclaimed and pushed Charles out of his way.  
\- Erik, this is-  
\- Do I need to remind what will happen if you’ll try to stop me? he said and Charles remembered the sword that had been on his throat just some moments ago. He tried to hijack Erik’s mind but he did not let him.  
Soon Erik had found a big, old mirror as well as some paper and a pen. He ran downstairs and ordered Charles to follow him into the basement. The basement was dimly lit and there was a damp smell. You were standing in one of the storage rooms and tried to keep your wrist from bleeding. The second time when Erik had tightened the metal, he had done it more than he had intended to and now your wrist was bleeding quite much. You had started to feel a bit dizzy and you felt that the only way to save yourself was to go into the past, change Erik so none of this will happen in the future, in your current present, that had been your past a year ago, or not your past because you had not been born yet.  
You had fallen in love with Charles and now you were sorry that you had not acted upon that sooner. You had been having so many long, wonderful conversations with him and you were quite sure that he had enjoyed them as well.  
Charles rushed into the room. He noticed your bleeding wrist and a small pool of blood on the floor.

\- What have you done, Erik! he exclaimed and ran to you. He took off his black vest and wrapped it around your wrist but as long as that handcuff was pressing against your flesh, making the cut slowly deeper and wider, there was not much that he could do to help you.  
\- Making sure that you both co-operate! Erik said with a cold tone. He hated to hurt you but he had no choice.  
\- Whatever you want me to do, we have to get to it before I’ll pass out. you said and sought support from Charles.  
Erik was jealous. He had grown fond of you and in his opinion, he had noticed you first. He had wanted to be the one who you spent your evenings with, having conversations, dining, laughing, but as long as he had the fucked up past, he was unable to let anyone close to him.  
\- Can you take things with you there? Erik asked.  
\- Yes! I brought my phon-  
\- Good! he exclaimed and took the paper. He walked to the small table and wrote a note in German.  
\- Give this to me. he said and gave you the piece of paper. You nodded. You did not read it. The note was personal and whatever was written there was meant to Erik’s eyes and Erik’s eyes only.  
\- Now… he said and nodded to Charles.  
\- What? Charles asked.  
\- You need to read my memories so you can guide (Y/N) when she is there.  
\- Erik, I don’t think this is a goo-  
\- I do not care! If you care for her, you’ll do it and maybe you’ll get her back. Erik said with a bitter tone. You realized that he was jealous and he had some feelings for you. You went through the year that you had been stuck there and now you saw it in totally different way. You realized that you had known but his darkness as well as his coldness had been pushing you away and the attraction you had had for him in the beginning had died.

\- Do it, Charles. you said and smiled. You understood that you had to try. You did not care if were unable to return but you understood that if you did not try, Erik would be swallowed by the rage that he carried inside him every day. No friendship was enough to heal him from that, not even an endless amount of unconditional love when he could not let anyone near. Erik was powerful, very much so now that he mastered his power well.  
Erik nodded at you and Charles focused his mind on Erik’s memories. Erik closed his eyes and calmed himself so Charles was able to navigate it easily. Erik knew that your time was now limited and he had to do his share for his plan, or your plan, to work.  
Charles found the memory easily because Erik’s mind was now focused on it. Charles saw Erik’s house, his family and how they had been having dinner when the SS-groups had come. He asked Erik if there was anything else he could show him before he left the memory. Erik showed him a secret basement that was under the floor and the hatch was always covered with a rug.  
Erik’s family had been the last one to be taken that night and therefore your plan was not that silly after all. The SS-groups had left quite soon, after they had first robbed valuables that Erik’s family had owned. When Charles had seen everything that Erik thought to be important, he focused his attention to you.

\- Are you ready? Charles asked and stared into your eyes.  
\- Yes. you said although it was a lie but this was as ready as you could get and you were slowly bleeding out.  
You stepped in front of the mirror. It was the same mirror that you had used to practice creating a portal and you liked the shape of it. You let your hands fall on your both sides and suddenly the handcuff fell on the floor. It was screaming red just like the floor had been if there had been enough light to illuminate the room. Now the blood looked only black and not really blood at all.

Charles was about to tie the wound but you told him that it did not matter if he tied it or not. When he got there, and managed to save Erik and his family, none of this had happened and there would be no wound and if you did not manage to save them, you would surely be caught also or killed instantly. Charles wanted to tie up the wound anyway and you decided not to fight back and waste your own time.

When he was done, you started to concentrate. You asked them to be very quiet, even Charles who should connect to you mind right before you stepped through the portal. You stared at your own reflection in total silence. Even the sound of Erik and Charles breathing muffled away. You squeezed Erik’s note in your hand and breathed slowly in and out.  
Then you saw it; your own reflection became distorted and it looked like the mirror was melting. Charles heard you telling him that you were ready. He did not know how long you would be able to keep your connection with him so therefore he sent you a mental image of the secret hiding place that was under the floor. He also told you that the SS-groups would leave faster if they did not have to turn the place upside down to find the valuables and if they thought that the house was abandoned. “Okay” you sighed and then took a step closer to the mirror. You reached out to touch the surface and instantly you were gone.


	6. Saving Erik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take a trip to the Nazi Germany and encounter little Erik.

You were in that dark room again. You could see Charles and Erik standing side by side in front of the mirror staring at their own reflections. You heard them arguing and you could sense the level of worry that was in Charles’ mind and also the anger that was in Erik’s, but there was also strong hesitation now. He was asking himself if he had sentenced you to die or what if your meddling made things even worse, yes that was also possible.

You also heard someone speaking German. The voice was coming from the direction of the only door that there was in that dark, empty, vast, most likely endless room. You walked towards the room and placed your hand on the handle, breathed in deeply and then opened the door. You were suddenly in a small, cozy house and suddenly a woman stepped from the kitchen holding a knife in her hand. As she threatened you with the knife you raised your hands up as the sign of surrendering and cursed that you did not speak German, not that well at least.

You also noticed that you had come out from a small storage room and wondered silently inside your head “why a storage room, why not the front door or something”. You could not feel Charles inside your mind anymore. He had faded out immediately when you had stepped out from the storage.  
\- Bist du Frau Lehnsherr? (Are you Mrs. Lehnsherr?) you asked and tried to find out if you were in the right house. You kept your voice calm and did no sudden moves.  
\- Ja! Aber wer bist du? (Yes! But who are you?) she shouted. She looked surprised and terrified at the same time and you could not blame her.  
\- Ein Freund. Sprichst du Englisch? (A friend. Do you speak English?) you asked and hoped that she did. You were reaching the limits of your German and there was no way you would be able to explain why you were there if you could not do it in English. The woman was silent for a moment and then answered  
\- Yes, a little.  
\- Good. Okay. We do not have too much time, actually we do not have much time at all. you said with clear articulation and slow speed although when you started to speak you talked more to yourself than to the woman and therefore your tone was rather quiet and speed rather fast.

\- What is going on? Who are you? the woman asked. She was still pointing the knife at you. It was clear that she had been preparing dinner when she had heard noises from the closet and come to see what it was about.  
\- I am a friend of Erik’s-  
\- Erik? Mein Erik? (My Erik?) she asked with a confused tone. You did not blame her though, where you now were, Erik was just a little boy, or not so little, but little for you because you knew him as a grown man.  
\- Yes. you said and noticed a boy walking to his mother. He asked her “wer ist sie? (Who is she?)” and the mother put the knife down because it was making his son nervous. You put your hands slowly down but kept them visible at all times. Then you squatted in front of the boy.

\- Kleine Erik. (Little Erik.) you sighed and gave him the note that you had been holding tightly in your hand. He took the paper and looked at you with a curious spark in his eyes.  
\- Was ist das? (What is this?) he asked and opened the paper that was neatly folded six times.  
\- Es ist für dich, Erik. (It is for you, Erik.) you managed to say and the boy looked you with puzzled look on his face. You smiled briefly before continuing.  
\- Es ist wichtig. (It is important.) you said with a firm but soft tone and took his hand. He nodded, folded the paper and put it into his pocket. However there was no time to waste so you stood up and focused on the mother again.  
\- What was that? she asked. You stood up and answered  
\- It is a note from… someone.  
\- What does it say? she asked as she stared at her son.  
\- I don’t know. I promised to give it to Erik. It is important that he will not lose it. you told the mother.  
You waited for a reply from the woman. She was silent and looked his son with a worried look on her face. Then she nodded. Suddenly there was a man entering the house and when he saw you, he started to shout questions that you could not understand because he was shouting them in German. It was Erik’s father who then calmed down when his wife told him that it was alright.

\- Are you here for that note? the woman asked and focused her attention to you again. This was taking more time than you had hoped or assumed. There was no time to waste and you had been wasting it too much already.  
\- Not entirely. you answered to the woman. Her husband did not speak English so she translated to him what you said.  
\- You have hidden your valuables, have you? you asked with a firm tone as you focused your mind to keep calm and assertive. Yes you had entered their lives from a closet and you were wearing rather strange clothes but still they trusted you, for some reason.  
\- Valuables? the woman asked. She did not understand the word.  
\- Gold, silver-  
\- Yes! Why? she asked.  
\- I need you to get them, take some for you and then leave the rest somewhere where it will be found easily-  
\- Why? she asked again. The family treasures were the most valuable thing that they had and what you were suggesting was just pure madness. You however were not going to waste time to explain yourself. Your first priority was to explain what you needed them to do and then ask questions later, if there should be some.

\- And then I need you to hide your coats, get rid of the fire and turn off the lights, hide your bags and make this house look like it had been abandoned in a hurry. you continued with a calm voice.  
\- What? the mother asked again.  
\- Then we need to hide. There is a secret basement under the floor, isn’t there? you asked, again ignoring her questions.  
\- Yes, but-  
\- The SS-groups are coming. They will be here soon and they will take you to the concentration camp if you do not hide yourselves. you said with a firm tone. There was no room to go into a shock or freak out, so therefore the calmer and in control you were, the better the situation would play out.  
\- But-  
\- If you get caught, you will be shot in front of your son and it will change him forever. He will be filled with such anger that it will make him do horrible things. you said and pleaded with your eyes. The woman was able to see that you were sincerely concerned. She had to ask though  
\- How do you know this?  
\- I know your son and I can tell you that he is not a happy man. you answered and took a brief look at Erik who was listening to you although he could not understand anything you said. He got a feeling that what you were saying was important.

The woman explained the situation to her husband, leaving out the part where you claimed that you knew their son as a “man”. They had a short disagreement when the father said that he had not heard rumors about the SS-groups coming to their village but then woman pleaded him to take actions, just to be sure, for the future of their son.  
The man sighed and nodded. Then they started to gather things, back their bags and reposition their jewelry. They took some gold chains and then left the rest in the top drawer that was in the living room. They looked now like they were where they were supposed to be but they were still easy to be found so the SS-men did not have to turn the whole house upside down. The longer the men spend inside the house, the bigger risk of being found grew.  
All the windows and doors were opened so the warmth escaped quickly. When the warmth was gone, the doors and windows were being shut, all except the front door. It was left slightly open. When the house looked and felt like the family had left in a hurry, you asked them to join you in the basement. The hatch was located in the hallway and it was covered with a rug and even without the rug it was very difficult to see if you did not look for it specifically. 

You went into the basement. It was dark and damp and made you to imagine all the horrors as well as monsters that hid in the darkness. You held Erik’s hand as he followed down. When you had found a spot to sit on, you said with a calm voice  
\- Wir müssen “shhhh”. (We mush “shhhh”.) and made a “shush” gesture with your finger and stared at boy-Erik with a faint smile on your face. He nodded and asked you in German  
\- Bist du ein Engel? (Are you an angel?)  
His tone was soft and he was looking at you with bright eyes. You sighed and wiped a tear off your cheek. It was strange to see Erik so young and innocent when the last time you had seen him, he had been full of rage. You could not answer him so you just wrapped you arms around the boy and hugged him tightly. The hug was interrupted when his mother and father came into the basement with a couple of bags. They closed the hatch after them and luckily the rug fell perfectly in its place when the hatch closed entirely. It was a heavy rug and blocked all light.

Erik moved and sat down between his parents, who told him to stay absolutely quiet, and then you waited. After an hour there was a loud knock on the door that made everybody jump a little. You kept your mouth covered with your hand tightly and hoped that the others were doing the same. You knew that if you got caught hiding, you would most likely be shot instantly and not even taken to the camp, although, you were quite convinced after seeing all the documentaries about them, that it was a kinder fate to be shot than taken there… of course you did not enjoy the idea of being shot either, so you just rather took the option number 3; hold on tight until the darkness of night and then run!  
You listened to the heavy steps that echoed in the darkness. The soldiers were talking with cold, loud voice, pointing out that the residents of this house had left. They searched the house and broke things as they moved through the rooms. You heard Erik’s mother sobbing silently and you fought the tears yourself as well.

It was the longest 30 minutes of your life. It went on and on as you stared at the ceiling, hoping that they would not notice the hatch that was under the heavy rug. Sometimes you imagined seeing faces and shapes in the darkness and your heart skipped a beat countless of times as you thought that you saw the hatch opening and flash light scanning through the darkness. It however was all in your head. Then there was a silence in the house. Outside it was whole different thing though; you were able to hear faint sounds of people screaming, getting shot and then cars driving away. You felt bad for the people. It was a some kind of survivors guilt that you were feeling; you had saved one family and let the others die and it felt unfair.

For some hours you sat there waiting, shaking and hoping that it was now over. Then you told the woman that you would go and check it out. Her husband protested but you knew that if the village had been emptied, you really had to take advantage of the darkness and get going immediately.  
You stood up, took your shoes off and walked on your tippy toes up the squeaky stairs, pushed the hatch open and closed it after you had entered the ground level hallway. The place was a mess. There was broken glass everywhere as the soldiers had broken the windows and torn the whole place apart. You put on your shoes after you had gotten some cuts on your feet and then walked outside. The village was empty and the only light there was, was the fire that was burning in the neighboring house. At that moment you thanked your luck that they had not set the house on fire because you would had then suffocated into the basement.

When you were sure that there were no other people left, you went to tell the Lehnsherr family that it was time to go. They got dressed in their coats and then you left the house with them. Erik’s father knew the area well and was able to navigate the forest in the dark. You countered countless of body piles when you crossed roads. Whenever you found abandoned houses, you rested and tried to find anything to eat. It was not easy but it was the only way to stay alive. When you slept your dreams were haunted by the sounds of people getting shot and you although you tried not to let Erik see you crying, he sometimes surprised you.

You were heading into the east, hoping to encounter some people that were “friendly” kind and finally you did. It had been a long journey that had lasted so many days that you had not bothered to count them. The days followed each other, the forest looked the same and every once in a while it was a day and then it was night again. Finally you came across a family that had a car and they were escaping to the east as well. You felt that you were getting weaker because you had been spending far too long in the time where you did not belong, changing things. Being stuck in the 60’s had not been a problem because you were not changing anything in the past, just living in the present, which was “past” to you but not for anyone else.

Erik’s father gave the gold chains to the other family as a payment for the ride forward. They were planning the journey forward when you decided that this was the moment for you to leave. You asked Erik’s mother to translate something that you wanted to say to Erik. She nodded and walked to the boy with you. You squatted in front of him and smiled.  
\- Little Erik. you begun. His mother translated everything after you into German so Erik was able to understand.  
\- Do you still have it? you asked. Erik nodded and pressed his hand over the pocket of his coat.  
\- Good. Now, there are few things I want to say to you. you began with soft, calm yet warm tone.  
\- You will soon notice that you have a gift, that you are different. you said. Erik’s mother translated one sentence at the time and then looked at you with a confused expression. You ignored it and continued  
\- You will face sad things but you are strong and you will grow up to be a powerful man, Erik. you continued and smiled to him. You felt tears building up inside you so you took a deep breath before continuing.

\- Listen carefully; you can use your gift to do bad things or do good things.  
The mother did not ask questions, she only kept translating the things you wanted to say to her son. You had helped them to escape so wherever you were from, whatever your relationship was with her son, it did not matter. What mattered the most was that they were alive and whatever you wanted to say to him, it must have been greatly important.  
\- You can use it to destroy or build. you said and waited that his mother managed to translate.  
\- You can fill your heart with anger or love. It is all up to you…  
You thought your words carefully through and then continued with a hopeful smile on your face.  
\- But I encourage you to do the right thing and not to lose hope. Fill your life with beautiful things, Erik.  
you said with tears in your eyes and emphasized the word “beautiful”.  
\- The war will soon end and then be ready… because the world is waiting for you. you said and smiled through the tears that were now flowing freely from your eyes. After Erik’s mother had translated everything, Erik smiled, nodded and then jumped to hug you. You wrapped your arms around him and sighed.  
\- Mein Engel. (My angel.) the boy whispered.

It was time for them to go. It was time for you to go too. Letting go was difficult but necessary. You had to trust that Erik and his parents would stay safe from now on and if something bad happened, it would not be as terrible as being shipped to Auschwitz. You watched Erik walking away to the car hand in hand with his mother.  
You heard two cars getting nearer, one speeding now that the driver saw the people, most likely escaping. Your heart stopped and your blood froze when you realized that there were Nazis heading your way. Erik and his mother ran to the car where his father was already waiting, fortunately they had been quite near to the car already. The car started and you screamed “go!” repeatedly at the same time motioning them to drive away since they were not going to leave you behind. You knew however that there was no room for you in that car and if they waited any longer, they would all get caught and shot instantly. You were too far from them.

You panicked as the SS-group came closer. Fortunately the car where Erik was, was already speeding away which made you relieved. You tried to remember everything that Charles had told you about controlling your mind and then started to look for something that you could use as a portal to get back home, or anywhere. You needed either complete darkness, a mirror or water.  
The first car stopped and a man with a gun jumped out. He kept shouting in German and you lifted your hands above your head. He pointed you with the gun and guided you to stand by a ditch that was filled with water. You started to talk in English to the soldier, your aim was to buy time so you would be able to calm your mind. Hell, how would it be even possible?

The other car stopped and the man who was still pointing the gun at you, told the other soldiers that there was a car that was escaping. They said something about following and mentioned the Soviet Russia. The soldier groaned and then started to shout at you. You knew that he would shoot you any minute now.  
You tried to imagine the water in your mind. You had never created a portal without staring at it. Then just before he fired his gun, you fell backwards and sank into the water. You felt your back hitting the bottom and you opened your eyes. The portal was not there! You saw the soldier pointing the gun at you. You stared at him and touched the surface of the water, still submerged under it.

A loud bang.


	7. When you change the past, you change the future...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You survived but how did your actions change things?

A loud bang woke you up from your sleep. You breathed in and out slowly a couple of times before you dared to open your eyes. You stared at the ceiling of your own bedroom and then closed your eyes again. From that point on you had a dream where a man with bright blue eyes was calling you and when you woke up, the smoke in your apartment had gone out from the balcony door that was open.

You got out from the bed, kicked the snow out to the balcony and closed the door. You had a terrible headache and realized that you had no painkillers at home. You cursed that you had managed to kill yet another plant, the money tree that had been given you as a gift by your ex. It had been a cold night and you felt all stiff as you woke up, almost like you should had jumpstart yourself entirely get going. Also for some reason whatsoever you had gone to bed fully clothed and the clothes had been wet so they were now somewhat frozen solid. You got out from the clothes and threw them into the bathtub which was now empty. You took your phone, luckily it was the old one, tried to put it on but it was completely broken.

Finally your body came back alive and you started to crave after a pizza. You got dressed in your winter clothes and searched for your gloves. You tried to put on the lights but as you flipped the switch a couple of times, you remembered what your neighbor had said to you; the power was off in the entire apartment building. You also remembered the freaking “Facescape” and cursed yourself for not being able to tell the guy that you did not think that the idea was good to begin with.

You left the apartment and went outside. It was not that cold anymore, sub-zero C’s anyway, but at least not -30 like last night. You walked to the pizzeria nearby your apartment and saw the owner watching a movie about the Nazi Germany. He asked you if you wanted only one pizza and you answered  
\- Actually, make it three.  
You realized then afterwards that you had ordered 3 pizzas without any idea about what you were going to do with all three of them. Sure you were starving but surely not THAT starving! As you waited for the pizzas you went through the happenings of the previous night. You had had a very realistic dream about a small boy who had to be saved from the concentration camp and you had succeeded. And there had been a Nazi soldier who had shot you but you had woken up before the bulled had been able to hit you.

When you got the pizzas you noticed thinking that now you have pizzas for Erik and Charles too and then it hit you for real  
\- Erik and Charles! you exclaimed and then rushed out from the pizzeria. You went home and put on some makeup, changed your clothes into something more… charming… because you were going to see Charles again! You chuckled and went to the bathroom, stared at the mirror and cleared your mind. It was surprisingly easy although whatever you had learned was now in the recycle bin of your mind. It had not happened but you knew that it had.  
The mirror changed and you stepped into the portal again. You recognized the same argument and the same music and rushed to the door that was in the middle of the darkness. You were carrying those 3 pizzas and then opened the door. Your phone rang and you told the guy that Facescape sucked and you had to go.

The pub owner shouted that you were not allowed to bring your own snacks because the pub was also serving food. You answered him that you were just leaving, you would just have to find a friend first. You noticed a familiar looking man in the corner table and walked to him, sat down without asking a permission and said  
\- Hi Charles!

Then happened something that you had not anticipated at all; he looked at you with a confused look on his face. He did not recognize you. You felt that your heart was about to stop because now you understood that you had never met him before and whatever he had felt for you was now gone.  
You stared at him with a silly smile on your face as you went through the whole thing in your mind. You had no idea what had changed, or if Erik had ever even met Charles… but what really stopped you the most was the look on his face. You were a stranger that had sat down to his table with 3 pizzas without asking for permission.

\- Hi… you repeated and drummed nervously the table for a moment.  
\- Yes… may I help you? Charles asked with a tone that was basically screaming confusion.  
\- Uhm… I have a pizza-delivery from the year 2016 and I need you to drive me to your mansion so I can… deliver the pizzas… you said with a very fast pace and then smiled briefly. Charles looked at you curiously and just as when he was about to say something you continued  
\- One for you, one for me and one for… Erik.

You monitored the look on Charles’ face and noticed that he was going to raise his hand to his forehead very subtly. He was masking it as a casual “I am just brushing my hair” –motion but you knew.  
\- I know you want to read my mind so… just get on with it. you said. Charles lowered his hand then said  
\- So, pizza?  
\- Yes, pizza.  
\- From the year 2016?  
\- Yes. That’s what I said.  
\- But-  
\- It does sound crazy but it does not compare to what I have been through during these past few weeks.  
\- Oh?  
\- Yeah… I took a trip to the Nazi Germany so… get up and let’s go. you stated, stood up, took the pizzas from the table and motioned him to follow you.

Charles stood up and followed you to his car. You sat in and smiled awkwardly to Charles when he sat on the drivers’ seat. He was obviously thinking that you were mistaken, confused or insane and the most sensible thing for him was to just play along. He kept taking quick looks at you as he drove on. You kept looking out from the window to the English countryside in the early 60’s. He drove to his mansion and parked the vehicle in front of the main door. You got out from the car and walked into the mansion, followed by Charles.

You walked straight to the sitting room, expecting to see Erik by the window, but he was not there. You were confused. Everything up to this point had been exactly it had been before and now you were slightly worried.  
\- Where is… Erik? you asked as you turned around to face Charles who was now standing behind you, just a meter away. Charles looked at you with a thoughtful look on his face. Then suddenly the loon on his face changed and he smiled.  
\- I think I have seen you before! Charles said suddenly. You felt relieved and almost jumped to hug him but then he continued  
\- Yes… I have seen you in a drawing. he explained. His expression was friendly and polite, but definitely not a face of a man in love.  
\- Drawing? you asked as you tried to mask your disappointment.  
\- Yes, Erik carries it around all the time. He calls the woman in the picture “Mein Engel”-  
\- My angel… you mumbled as your eyes started to wander off from Charles’ eyes and got lost into the surroundings.  
\- Yes… and he is almost obsessed about finding this woman. Charles continued. You could not interpret his tone at all.  
\- Oh? Why? you asked casually after a silence.  
\- Because she saved him from the Nazis when he was just a boy… maybe she was your grandmother-  
\- No… it was me… you stated before you managed to think it through. Maybe it had been better to say that “sure, she was” but no… you had gone with the truth.

\- You are being extremely confusing… what was your name again? he asked and you could see that he was lifting his hand on his forehead again.  
\- (Y/N). you answered and flashed a brief smile.  
\- Very well, (Y/N), yes… first you said that you are from the future and now you say that you were in the past as well-  
\- Yep. you answered and rolled your eyes.  
\- Is there a time that you have not visited yet? Charles asked. He sounded a bit curious but you could that he was getting more and more annoyed by a minute because your answers were not making any sense and you were actually stating one ridiculous thing and soon stating the opposite, which however was just as ridiculous.  
\- This moment, apparently. you answered playfully.

\- Right… Charles commented. There was something familiar about you and it was not just because of the drawing. Then he realized that he had been using the Cerebro and you had suddenly appeared among the haze as a spark of light. He had connected with you for a moment but you had been far away. He had not however imagined you to enter his life this suddenly.  
\- Uhm… I can see how this is all so very confusing, but in a weird way it will make sense… in the end. you answered and disturbed his thoughts.  
\- I doubt that. Charles answered and rolled his eyes this time. A silence followed. You did not know what else to say so you just jumped straight into the point  
\- I need to see Erik. you said and gave the pizza boxes to Charles.  
\- Right… Stairs up and the third door on the right. he mumbled. Yes, there was definitely something strangely familiar about you and the way you seemed to know him, was just messing up with his rational brain.  
\- Thank you! you said and ran upstairs. You shouted “heat them up!” to Charles who stayed standing still and watching you with a puzzled look on his face.

You counted the doors and stopped at the third one. It was slightly open so you just decided to push it open a little bit more, knock a few times and then see what would happen. You saw a familiar looking tall man sitting in the room. He was drawing something by the window, although the pen seemed to move by its own. He was facing away from you but you could see the paper, the pen moving on it and him resting his other hand on his lap as he leaned to the other like he had been deep in his thoughts.  
You noticed a painting on the wall that looked like a ten times more beautiful version of you. Whoever the person was, she at least had your hairstyle, your eyes and even your lips, everything painted with graceful draws.  
\- Hi Erik. you said as you waited him to turn. He however did not. He recognized your voice although it had been so many years now. He stood up quickly, so suddenly that the chair fell backwards and made a loud bang as it fell on the floor. At that moment the pen fell on the paper. You had a reason to assume that he had recognized your voice.

\- It is a beautiful painting… Who is it? you asked.  
\- You, Mein Engel. he answered.  
\- Huh? Well… I must point out that you remember me much more beautiful that I really am…. I wonder if you’ll be disappointed.  
\- I doubt that. he said and then finally turned around.  
\- In fact… I think that the picture does not do justice. he said after he had taken a good, long look of you. He walked closer and tilted his head as he asked “may I?” You did not know exactly “may I, what?” but decided to nod anyway. He put his hands on your cheeks and felt the skin for a moment with his fingertips. You looked at him with a curious look on your face and then smiled briefly when he asked  
\- But tell me… How is it that I have grown up and you are still the same?

You started to laugh a bit and he pulled his hands away. You could sense the same magnetism about him than before, as well as the same darkness but now the darkness was milder. The last time you had seen him as an adult, he had been boiling with rage but now you could not sense that kind of consuming anger about him.  
\- It’s called time travel. It can be fun, although you it might take you to places where you don’t really want to be or you might end up changing things for the worse… No… I would not recommend it. you joked, or not really. You more like stated playfully.  
\- I see. Did you come into the past to save me? he asked and for a moment he sounded like he had been that same little boy; surprised, hopeful and confused.

\- Yep… So tell me, how did I do? Are your parents still ali-  
\- They’re dead. Erik answered. Saying that made Erik’s face turn sad, but not bitter or angry, which was a relief to you. He had clearly still lost much, his family to be exact, but he was now different.  
\- Dead? you asked.  
\- Yes… My father got shot by the Soviets and my mother died a few years after that to an illness. he told you, smiled briefly and then his face returned to that same sad, but not bitter, look.  
\- I’m so sorry… But no concentration camp? you asked. That was the thing that you wanted to know the most. Had you prevented that or not?

\- What are you talking about? Erik asked and chuckled. He looked puzzled, like he had had no idea of what you were talking about.  
\- No… nothing! I am just… nothing. you stated and decided that he did not have to know about it since it had not happened now. A silence followed because neither of you knew what to say exactly. Erik could read between the lines that there was something troubling you but you were not quite ready to tell him what that was.  
\- I still have it, by the way. Erik said after a silence.  
\- The note? you asked and chuckled.  
\- Yes. Who is it from? he asked and tilted his head as his ice blue eyes scanned your expression.  
\- It was from you. you answered. There was no reason why you should had kept that detail from him.  
\- Oh… he commented.

\- May I ask… what did it say? you asked with hesitation. You wanted to know what had been so important but then again it had been personal so… you did not know if you had any right to ask him that.  
\- You did not read it? Erik asked, he sounded surprised. You smiled and shook your head.  
\- No… I promised… you answered and then stopped midsentence because it sounded so absurd when you said it aloud to Erik who was now about the same age than when he had given you the note and cut your wrist with the handc- … no, you could not go there! That never happened.  
\- …you that I wouldn’t. you finished the sentence. As you remembered what he had done before, you took a small step as a reaction. The memories were coming back as a flood that wiped away trees and houses as it roared from the sea. Erik sensed that your attitude towards him changed a bit. You seemed a bit scared now and he could not understand why that was.

\- Uhuh. It said “Find Charles Xavier and let him be your friend” and “right the wrongs I did to (Y/N)”. Erik answered and continued scanning your expressions.  
\- Oh… you commented casually as you tried your best to act normally. This version of Erik had not done anything bad to you, whatever happened before, had not actually happened at all… but it still fucked up your mind.  
\- I just do not have an idea who “(Y/N)” is. he said and sighed. It was a riddle that had puzzled him the entire time. You knew however that it was only a matter of time when he would get his answer. It was another thing if it was a good thing or not. Did he really want to know?  
At that moment Charles knocked on the door, entered the room and said  
\- (Y/N)-  
You turned to look at him and said “huh?”  
\- The pizzas are now warm.

Erik looked at you with an expression that you could not interpret. He realized that “my angel” and (Y/N) were actually one and same person. He saw a little bit hesitation in your eyes when you turned around and followed Charles.


	8. Pizza and serious talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to avoid any questions but it is not really going the way you hope it would...

You did not know what to think. The whole situation was just too messed up; Your feelings for Charles had not changed but he did not love you anymore. Now however you had a reason to assume that Erik had some feelings for you, hell, he had a painting of you on his wall and he called you his angel. Sure, you had appeared to his life and saved his family from the horrors that he could not even imagine now, but this put you into a situation that you had not expected and you had not prepared yourself for.

You had assumed that when you got back, everything else would be the same, only Erik would be different but you had returned to the moment where none of it had happened yet, well it made sense because that was the moment when their lives had started to affect yours… Maybe it would be the most reasonable thing to return your world and never look back. There was nothing left to be done anyway.

You excused yourself to the bathroom and stared into the mirror. In a way you were happy that you had not kissed Charles before because it would have made things even harder. Now you were not even friends, only strangers to each other and he surely would not step on his friends’ feet when it came to you. So it meant that even if you tried to flirt with him, he would not give you a response, not in the way you hoped at least. It was unfair and in a way you blamed Erik for this.

Which was yet another dilemma. Yes Erik, the man who had hurt you before but could not be held responsible for his actions now because he had not done any of that now. There however was yet another question; if Erik had been able to perform such deeds and be swallowed by the darkness the way he had been before, was he in the risk of going there again?

What if he wished you to be his and if you rejected him and that rejection pushed him over the edge? Surely not, right? He was a grown man after all and fully capable of dealing with situations like that. But what if he was not? What if his obsession turned into something else and he become dangerous again? In a way you were now responsible for what he would become. No, not entirely, but you knew that you should had thought the entire situation through before returning in their lives.

If you had stopped and thought about it you would had realized that Charles did not know you anymore and there was no other reason for you to go and screw things up. That way Erik would had never met you. He might had kept wondering who you were and finally one day given up. Now however he knew that you existed for real and you were within his reach, available and even about the same age. He most likely saw it like a thing that had been destined to happen.

You could of course ask Charles to erase you memories so you could start something with Erik but then he would most likely see what you had felt for him and maybe he would reconnect with his feelings once more. He was a powerful telepath after all and his feelings for you had been deep. And did you want to start something with Erik in any case? Sure you had been attracted to him before developing feelings for Charles but then you had buried those feelings because you could not live with them anymore.

Besides the fact was that what Erik had done to you before still haunted your mind and even though you tried to reason that he was not the man that he used to be, you still backed away as a reaction when he came too close.  
You decided to return to your own world but this time you were unable to create a portal. You tried many times but there were too many things left unresolved that your mind was unable to concentrate and go completely empty. Then there was a knock on the door. Erik was asking if you were doing alright. You told him “yeah” and then tried one more time. No, no portal. You sighed, checked that you looked somewhat alright and then left the bathroom.

\- Everything alright? Erik asked and tried to find clues from your facial expression, which you tried to keep somewhat normal. He hoped that he was the one with telepathic powers but he was stuck with the power of controlling metal instead and therefore he had to settle with interpreting the clues that your body language provided him.  
\- Yeah, everything is fine. you answered and smiled briefly. You tried your best not to show him that nothing was actually right. It was not the fault of the current-Erik and the less he knew about the Erik-before, your dilemmas or feelings for Charles, the better. You both were silent for a moment and then he said  
\- Today, later, I must have a private word with you-  
\- Sure. Uhm… About… what? you asked with a tone that you deliberately kept cheerful so it would go together with the fake smile that decorated your face.  
\- About what was written in the note. Erik answered. He looked as well as sounded very concerned. “Oh, no! We’re not going there!” you exclaimed in your head but managed not to show it to Erik. Maybe if you tried to reason with him…  
\- But there is nothing to tal-  
\- Yes, there is. But not now. he said, put his hand on your shoulder. You fought the need of stepping away from him but the truth was that when he touched you, you got a vivid flashback of him basically cutting your wrist so therefore you shifted casually your weight from your foot to another which caused you to draw back just a little bit. However you could not escape the feeling of his warm, large hand cupping your shoulder in a very comforting way and that was a total mind-fuck; on the other hand it felt pleasant and on the other hand… Well, the memory of the metal cutting your skin and warm blood dripping out.

You pushed the memory away, nodded and smiled. Apparently now that you were unable to create a portal for yourself to get the fuck out, there was no way that you could avoid that conversation. Erik nodded with a small smile on his face and took his hand off your shoulder. You followed Erik to the dining area where Charles was waiting with the pizzas. You tried your best to avoid long looks with Charles. Basically you were avoiding everything that would had revealed that you had some feelings for him. Besides it was somewhat painful to look at him when he looked back at you and all he saw was a complete stranger.

At first Charles and Erik talked with each other. You listened their conversation about contacting mutants and trying to help them to control their powers as well as live with them. You remained silent because there was nothing to contribute to that topic. Then a silence followed.

\- Are you planning to stay? Charles asked you suddenly and shifted his gaze as well as his attention to you.  
\- At the current situation, I am unable to return my world- you stated, still avoiding looking at Charles.  
\- What are you talking about? Return? You cannot- Erik exclaimed.  
\- Erik, I do have a life… a job, friends… apartment, my belongings-  
\- So you came here and now you’re going to just… leave? Erik asked with a tone that sounded hurt. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms before leaning back to the table as he did not want to sound like a child who was getting upset for not getting a toy that he wanted. You stared at your plate and at the half-eaten pizza slice without answering. You heard Erik saying “well?” which made you exclaim as a reaction  
\- Well excuse me, I do not own the house and therefore I can’t just decide to stay, you know-  
\- You may stay, but there is one condition though. Charles commented with a calm voice. He was trying to figure you out but you were very precise and careful of not letting him run around in your mind. No, your mind was pretty much password-protected again because you did not want him to find out about the feelings that he had… and then not had… for you. The less anyone knew or cared about you now that things were different, the better.  
\- And that is? you asked. This time you looked directly into Charles’ eyes. They were as deep, big and blue as you remembered and no, there was no softness in them like there had been before. He looked at you like you were a stranger… well, you were a stranger, and Charles was anxious to know the secrets you were hiding from him.  
\- You’ll tell us everything. he answered. His tone was calm but also distant. It was not the Charles you had known, no, that Charles was gone. He had never existed.

\- But don’t you see? Anything that any of us did or felt before has not happened so it does not matter. you answered. You really did not want to talk about any of it. You noticed that Erik was paying careful attention to the words that you were using and he had noticed you saying “or felt”. It had been a slip and you regretted it now.  
\- Are you saying that you’re going to keep that information for yourself? Charles asked. He did not sound happy but upset. It was obvious that he thought that you were arrogant and he was getting frustrated with the fact that you did not let him to read your mind.  
\- I am saying that none of it matters anymore. you answered and took a big bite of the pizza slice as a sign that the conversation was now over. You finished the pizza and after that you took a small walk in the surrounding garden. Erik had suggested that he would join you but you had insisted that you would need a moment of peace to catch your breath and rearrange your thoughts. He had reluctantly nodded and let you go on your own. 

However after the walk Erik found you again and invited you into his room. He really wanted to have that private chat with you. He welcomed you into his room and motioned you to sit down opposite from him. You kept nervously looking around and sometimes you noticed that you were staring at the painting of yourself. It was a constant reminder of the fact that Erik was very fond of you and he had this image of you in his head and you were worried that the image was too… angelic.  
\- You love him, don’t you? Erik said after a moment of silence.  
\- Who? you asked and shifted your eyes from the painting to Erik. He looked very calm and you had to admit that you were attracted to him, physically at least. Erik after all was a tall, charming and very handsome man and combined to his newly-found calmness, the combination was too much to ignore even though your heart belonged to Charles. Yes, you were a little bit attracted to Erik, especially now that you could not sense that amount of darkness from him. Sure there was darkness but it was so much milder.  
\- Charles. he answered and he did not need to have telepathic powers to see that fraction of a moment that you gasped for air and smiled sadly. Then you pushed your feelings aside and asked casually  
\- What makes you think so?  
\- I saw how you looked at him. And how the way he looked at you hurt you… he stated. You noticed an undertone of sadness in his voice. You chuckled and stared at the carpet that was on the floor between the sofas where you two were sitting.

\- How? you asked with a silent tone. You had not been able to fool Erik and it made you both disappointed in yourself and also relieved somehow; now at least Erik did not assume you to jump into anything with him.  
\- It is the same way I look at you. he said and smiled briefly. Yes, he looked you the same way than you looked at Charles; so near, yet so far and knowing that the person did not share your feelings.  
\- Yeah… you sighed and tucked a runaway lock of your hair behind your ear.  
\- So… what is the deal? Erik asked. This new-Erik was surprisingly calm and he had a way of making you feel calm with his calmness.  
\- Well… no deal. Whatever it was… It took a year for anything to happen and nothing even happened so… you answered. That was the truth; nothing had really happened. “And nothing had happened because Erik had stormed in and fucked everything up” you thought and then immediately scolded yourself for even thinking like that.  
\- Tell me about it. Erik pleaded. He saw that whatever you were hiding, was burdening your shoulders and he hated to see you like that… and he was also curious to solve the mystery behind the note he had sent to himself and which he had kept for all these years.

\- No… you sighed and shook your head.  
\- Please? he asked anyway. You took a deep breath and thought your options through; you could lie or be brutally honest, but maybe it was the smartest thing to do to leave out some details. You after all hated lying and were not that good at it anyway.  
\- Fine. you answered and then took a moment for you to form your thoughts into understandable sentences. Erik was surprisingly patient and he was not pressuring you to start talking immediately and for that you were very thankful. You could not sit down anymore so you stood up and walked nervously back and forth in the room. Sometimes you focused your eyes on Erik whose attention was all yours at all times.  
\- You know, when I got here the first time, I actually fell in love with you but at that moment you had no place for love in your heart. you started. You hoped that it would be easier for him to understand the situation if you started by telling him that you had actually cared for him but your feelings had not been returned.  
\- Really? he asked and stood up.  
\- Yeah, you did not even notice me, besides you were on and off all the time. Travelling the world as you tried to catch the people that had been involved with anything that happened in your past. you continued.  
\- What happened in my past? he asked after processing your answer through.  
\- I do not know any specifics but… it included a concentration camp. you commented.  
\- Oh?  
\- Yeah… so… Therefore I had to bury my feelings and as time passed, I fell in love with Charles-  
\- So I guessed right then. Erik mumbled. He felt a little bit jealous, actually he felt very much jealous and for the first time in his life he felt his fists clenching tightly as he processed the disappointment and hurt in his mind. You noticed it and felt the darkness peaking for a moment.

\- Yes. He is a good man, Erik, and he was there for me… helped me with my “power” and how to control it… but nothing happened. you explained. The last thing you wanted to do was to be the reason for him to get consumed by the darkness now.  
\- Really? he asked. His tone however had returned somewhat normal and you sensed the darkness subsiding again.  
\- Well, when something was about to happen… something else happened instead and I ended up in Nazi Germany… And when I got back… Nothing is like it was and I did not expect that… but in a twisted way it makes sense. you explained without including any specific details into the story. You were hoping that your answer was enough to satisfy his curiosity but you knew it even yourself that it was not the case. Erik was silent for a moment and then asked  
\- What did I do?  
\- You haven’t done anything. you answered immediately. Your goal was to sound as sincere as you possibly could, however, according to the look on Erik’s face, your performance was not being that plausible.  
-Alright, let me rephrase it; what did I do before? he asked and stepped a bit closer. He had managed to walk quite close without you noticing it before and now that he was standing right in front of you, standing or more like towering over you, you felt the air escaping from the room as your attraction battled with the flashbacks.

\- You are not going to let it go, are you? you asked and stepped away just a little bit. You did not want to seem suspicious so you returned to stand where you had been standing right away when you noticed the look on Erik’s face; he had noticed how you retreated when he came close enough.  
\- No. I can see that every time I step closer, you draw back a little, so it is obvious that you are scared of me. Erik stated with a firm tone. You could not deny it, if you even tried, you would just make yourself look like an idiot and offend Erik in the process.  
\- Fine… but you must understand that you were a completely different person-  
\- What did I do? he asked again.  
\- You threatened Charles with a sword. you answered. It was the truth, although it was not necessarily the entire truth.  
\- What else? he asked.  
\- Nothing… that’s it. you answered and looked away with a sad smile on your face.

\- The note specifically told me to right the wrongs I did to you. Surely it did not mean my ignorance towards you and your feelings. Erik stated and dared to put his hand on your cheek. He traced the soft skin with his thumb slowly. You did not stop him because you did not want to upset him and to be honest, what he was doing felt very good and calmed your nerves.  
\- No-  
\- So how can I make anything right if I do not know what I did-  
\- You haven’t done that. Whatever happened, it exists only in my own mind now. you answered. You did not want to sound too sad or disappointed but the truth was that even though you were happy that Erik had now a chance to have a good life, you had screwed up your chances for love with Charles. You snapped out from your thoughts and turned away from Erik when he said  
\- But-  
\- That is the thing about time travel; you kind of lose your right to file a claim or to complain about anything. Therefore whatever anyone felt before… or whatever anyone did… it only exists in my head and none of it is real. So please, do not bother your mind with it and I’ll try to do the same thing. you continued. You rubbed your arm with your other arm and bit your lip as you tried to fight your emotions that were about to reach the surface and break through.

\- Are you going to tell Charles about your feelings? Erik asked you after a moment of depressing silence.  
\- No… you sighed and smiled.  
\- No? he asked and it was clear that he was surprised.  
\- What’s the point? No, it would just make everything even more complicated so… you answered and shook your head. You wiped a single runaway tear off your cheek and since you were not on alert, Erik managed to step closer, wrap his arms around you and pull you closer. You froze for a moment and Erik felt your muscles tensing up. He however did not care but just stroked your hair slowly and stated  
\- It pains me to see you this way. Maybe, if you’ll give me a chance, I could help you to get over Charles. That is, if you are able to give me a chance to prove you that I am not going to hurt you… again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay... I am currently facing a small writers block :P


	9. From summer to autumn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find a friend in Erik.

You stepped away from Erik when he lowered his arms and freed you from his embrace. You turned your head upwards a bit so you could smile at him. Your smile however was quite brief and almost pathetic. Erik stared at you with a thoughtful look on his face.  
\- Just give me time. you said with a soft tone. You were slightly afraid of what Erik’s answer was going to be. Maybe he got angry and started to shout or maybe he told you to get out from his room as well as his life. You were afraid that he would be consumed by the darkness if you rejected him entirely or if you rejected him too brutally. You kept waiting for a response and even as a smallest moment, like a blink of an eye, felt like an eternity.  
\- Of course. Erik answered and smiled at you. Charles appeared at the door and announced that the guestroom was now ready for you. You thanked him and then turned to Erik.  
\- Please… not a word to Charles. you pleaded. Your tone was desperate and it matched your facial expression completely. Erik nodded and as you had gotten a confirmation from Erik, you left the room and found Charles waiting for you at the next door. So apparently the guestroom was right next to the room that was currently occupied by Erik.

You stepped in and looked around. It was not the same room that you had been given before. Maybe Charles had given you this room so Erik would be close to you, or most likely other way around; that you would be close to Erik. You did not mind because you were going to lock the door anyway. Whatever Charles thought that would happen between you and his friend, it was not going to happen because Erik knew that you had feelings for his friend and surely he respected that.  
You were left alone in the room and you locked the door. You checked that the windows were locked as well as windows. Then you listened to Charles and Erik playing chess in the room next to yours, in Erik’s room to be exact, as you lay down on the bed and finally fell asleep.

You had a dream that you were in Nazi Germany again. You saw all the bodies that were laying, rotting on the bottom of the ditch and you kept stumbling into various body parts that were growing in the darkening forest like tree roots. There were hands reaching out and grabbing your feet, making you fall over, as you tried to find your way into safety. Then suddenly there was that Nazi soldier pointing his gun at you, telling you to get on your knees although you could not understand anything he said. You kept begging him to let you go but he only laughed. He fired his gun and you woke up.

You were covered with cold sweat, panting and on the verge of breaking down and crying your eyes out. Suddenly the door, that had been locked, opened. You sat up as a reaction for such intrusion. A tall man entered the room and ran to your bed. He put the night lamp as he sat on the edge of your bed. It was Erik. You stared at him with a shocked loon on your face and it was impossible for you to focus on him completely. Physically you were staring at him, yes, but mentally you had not yet entirely woken up.

When Erik tried to calm you down by putting his hand on your cheek, you leaned away and tried to escape his touch.  
\- (Y/N). Erik said with a calm, warm tone. He kept calling your name until you were fully awake.  
\- It was only a dream… he continued and guided you to lean on him. You had no strength to resist him so you pressed your forehead against his shoulder.  
\- All those bodies… all those people… dead. you sobbed.  
\- Only a dream. Erik assured you and then helped you to lay back down. He returned into his room after he had made sure that you had fallen asleep. 

These nightmares however kept repeating themselves and Erik kept rushing into your room every night until one evening Erik walked straight into your room when you were about to go to sleep.  
\- What are you doing? you asked. Your tone was surprised and it has an undertone of disapproval in it.  
\- I think that this is makes more sense, don’t you think? Erik answered.  
\- What do you mean? you asked.  
\- You have woken me up every night during past two weeks with your nightmares about war. I do not understand why you keep seeing them. Sure it was horrible, but it has been twenty years. Erik reasoned with calm, soft voice which you found very irritation at the very moment.  
\- For you, maybe, but for me it happened just a couple of weeks ago. I was there and I can still hear the screams of the neighboring families getting shot. I feel so guilty for not helping them. you stated and fought the tears that were building inside you again.  
\- Hey… no one is blaming you. Mein Engel. You saved me and my family… Let me save you from the nightmares. Erik said, walked to your bed, opened it by pulling the covers away halfway and then sat on the edge of it. You kept standing further away and staring at the bed where he was now sitting. Erik tapped the mattress a couple of times and smiled.

You had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Sure Erik had been good company and very supportive during your stay, besides he had managed to convince you almost entirely that he was not the same Erik that he had been earlier and now he actually cared about your well-being. But still.

Your mind had started to let go of Charles because he was not even flirting with you he was not even that interested in being your friend because he was always busy teaching the other mutants to control their powers. That had been the way you had gotten close with Charles in the first place. Now you could not even let him inside your mind because you were worried about the things that he could find there… things that he would find.  
Erik however had come up with a plan. He had decided to be there whenever you needed him and maybe that way you would forget about Charles and fall in love with him or even get the courage to trust him. Erik had been a good friend during these two weeks and had been your mental shoulder to cry on although you had not let him close physically. You had been worried that if you hugged him, you would get buried into the feeling and accidentally call him “Charles” because although you were letting Charles go since there was no point of holding onto your feelings for him anyway, deep down you still were heartbroken about losing him.

Now Erik was sitting on your bed, gesturing you to join him and you did not know what to do. You walked to your private bathroom to think your options through; it was true that Erik had ran to calm you down every night during these past two weeks and it was also true that you were kind of afraid of going to sleep because of your dreams. The nightmares were just horrible and you were getting physically, emotionally as well as psychologically tired of the situation because you had not been able to sleep even one night well for a long time; not just for the two weeks but neither the weeks that you had spent in Nazi Germany. So all together it had been almost 6 weeks that you had slept well and enough, without nightmares.

You took a deep breath and then stepped out from the bathroom. Erik had gotten more comfortable and he was reading some book. He glanced at you quickly to make sure that you were alright and then his gaze returned to the book. You walked to the bed and sat on the edge. After taking another deep breath you lifted your legs on the bed as well and tucked yourself in as you lay down on your back.

Erik was wearing his pajama pants and a t-shirt, you were wearing your pajama and you were not sharing the blanket so your mind was kind of at ease. However not at ease enough for you to close your eyes and let yourself to drift away. You listened to the sound of Erik’s breathing and the sound that the book made when he turned the page. When nothing happened, you rolled on your side, facing away from him and closed your eyes. Soon you heard Erik putting the book away and then he turned off the last light.

You were laying on your side in the darkness. The mattress shifted and soon you felt a warm, strong body behind you and an arm slid on your side and then further on your stomach. Erik pulled you closer to him which made you tense up as you opened your eyes wide open and stared into the darkness. You did not know what to do and you did not dare to breathe because you felt that with every exhale you sank closer to the man behind you, holding you close, and deeper into his warmth.

\- Sleep. Erik whispered and pressed a soft kiss on the back of your head. You could not relax, you did not want to fall asleep.  
\- I’ll keep you safe. he continued and held you even tighter and closer if that was even possible. Then you let it go. You took one big breath and as you exhaled slowly, you closed your eyes and let yourself relax. Erik felt you relaxing in his arms and whispered  
\- Good.   
His voice sounded almost seducing in the soft darkness that surrounded you now and the feeling of his body close to yours felt protective, like it had been a wall that kept the cold, evil world away from you. He kept talking into your ear until you finally fell asleep. Then he allowed himself to drift away as well. That night the nightmares did not come. You were sleeping in the velvety darkness where it was warm and safe and this time there were no Nazi soldiers trying to shoot you or bodies laying around, blaming you for not saving them.

You woke up when the sun started to shine straight into your eyes from the window. According to Erik’s breathing, he was still sleeping but to be honest you did not mind at all. You decided to sleep a couple of hours because it was very early and most likely no one else was awake either. After a couple of hours you woke up again and this time Erik was awake. He had returned to read the book and therefore he was not holding you anymore. You felt surprisingly disappointed about it but then shook the feeling away.

You turned to lay on your back and smiled. It had been too long since you had felt so good and relaxed. You were actually excited about the new day and face whatever obstacles the world was about to throw at you. But at first you had to thank Erik. Of course there was no certainty of knowing if your uninterrupted and un-nightmarish sleep was due to Erik or not, but then again there was nothing to prove the otherwise either. The previous nights had been so terrible and that was the only thing that had been different from the previous nights; now you had not been sleeping alone. No, you had been having a personal human-shield as your protection against the boogeyman that lurked in the dark corners of your mind.

\- Morning. Erik said and put the book on his lap.  
\- Hey. you answered and yawned.  
\- How did you sleep? Any nightmares? he asked and examined the look on your face. You started to smile and answered  
\- No… I slept… well. Gosh! It had been ages. you said and chuckled a little. Erik smiled and returned to his book.  
\- Thank you. you continued. Erik nodded and after reading a bit more he left the bed since you had to get dressed as well.

The days passed like this. Erik kept sleeping in your bed, holding you, until you felt confident enough to sleep on your own again. Then the days turned into weeks and suddenly it was late autumn. There were times when Erik was on his travels as he and Charles went to find mutants who could not master their powers. However when Erik was around, you sat with him in the soft candle light, just talking and listening to the rain. You still sometimes reminded yourself about the things he had done to you, but slowly you started to accept the fact that he had not done those things to you. The only thing that worried you now was the fact that the image of you that Erik had, was maybe too angelic. You were afraid that if you screwed something up, he would get twice as disappointed and then he might get angry.

You did not quite know what could have been a thing that you could screw up so badly that it would actually push him over the edge, but to be honest, you really did not want to try and find out. You liked Erik like this. He was kind, polite and considerate. Charles however… well he was busy. Always busy and he had no time for you. He was also annoyed that you did not let him to read your mind. Still, how could you have let him? No, it would not be smart and therefore you would never let him.

Erik sometimes thought about your feelings towards Charles. He had noticed that you were not looking at Charles “that way”, with deep longing in your eyes, or not so much at least. It was a solid indicator for Erik that your heart was healing and maybe there was a chance for him. A fair and real chance for Erik. He also thought if he was betraying his friends trust when he did not inform Charles about your feelings. Of course he had promised you that he would not tell Charles about whatever you felt and whatever had happened with Charles… or not happened… but happened before. Therefore there had been a couple of times when he was almost about to tell Charles but then did not. Erik knew that Charles could had gotten the information out from him easily by reading his mind, but then again, Charles never wanted to read his friends mind because he knew that Erik did not appreciate him doing it.

Erik had noticed correctly. You were not in love with Charles anymore but your heart still ached. Sometimes you felt lonely and confused but then you picked up the pieces and found something meaningful to do to kind of distract yourself from those thoughts. You usually took long, slow walks in the nearby forest and concentrated on thinking about the things that were actually well in your life.

Then one warm autumn day you were walking alone in the forest again. The leaves were falling slowly down to the ground from the trees. They were dancing in the wind and then floating softly down until they hit the forest floor and became a part of the colorful carpet that covered the grass and soil. The day was rather cloudy but sometimes there were cracks in the clouds above and the golden rays of sun danced in the leaves making everything glow in warm autumn colors.

\- Why do you walk here alone?  
You heard a soft voice asking. It was Erik who had again returned from one of his trips. He had been gone for only a couple of days but you could not deny it; you had kind of missed him.  
\- Just enjoying the silence and… peacefulness. you answered and then sat on a rock. You closed your eyes and listened to the wind that was dancing in the leaves and making the most yellow ones to fall. Erik walked to you and sat next to you.  
\- So you’re back. you said and then turned to look at him.  
\- Yes. I am. he answered with a calm tone.  
\- Did you find… mutants?  
\- Yes, we did. Plenty of work for Charles. Erik answerd.  
\- Oh… you commented and focused your gaze to the shadows that danced on the carpet made of fallen leaves. Erik sometimes mentioned Charles on purpose so he could see how you reacted when you heard the name. In the beginning you had always gone silent and your mood had changed but not anymore. Now it was almost like a name among other names, almost. A long silence followed. There was a leaf on your hair which Erik noticed. He took off his gloves, put them on his lap and then picked the leaf carefully away from your hair. You looked at him with an amused yet surprised look on your face.

\- What are you doing? you asked and smiled.  
He showed you the leaf before letting it float down on the ground. You chuckled a bit and jumped off the rock. Erik followed you and took your hand and stopped you from getting away from him. You had been laughing but your laughter died immediately when you saw the intense look in his eyes. He placed his hand on your cheek and the other on your neck and waited for a rejection. You however did not know what to do; on the other hand you had secretly hoped that he would kiss you and you had been hoping that for some time, but on the other hand…

You stared at him frozen as he leaned closer. He closed his eyes and you closed yours as a reaction, without really controlling your own actions. You felt his breath on your lips, his nose brushing yours as he was getting closer. Then finally, the first touch. Soft and sweet. His lips brushed yours as he still was waiting for you to reject him, to push him away but you did not.  
You put your hands on his shoulders and felt the cool leather with your fingertips. Then he kissed you again. This time there was a bit of intensity included and as you let go of your worries and doubts and really started to reply to the caresses that his lips were pampering you with, he allowed himself to deepen the kiss and let it grew hungrier as well as more demanding. He tangled his fingers into your hair and wrapped the other arm around you so he was able to keep you close to him.

Your head was spinning, stomach filling with butterflies and knees about to give in when he released your lips, leaving you wanting more. Your breathing had turned into quick, sharp, very random gasps, your capability of thinking had become impaired and you were having serious problems with maintaining a proper balance. Erik kept holding you and then he heard Charles calling him as the wind carried his voice from the mansion. Erik kissed you once more very briefly and just before letting you go he said

\- Come to me tonight and I will make you forget about the world entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut -warning for the next chapter.


	10. Playing with fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No smut before "***" up to that it is safe to read.
> 
> Eventual smut is eventual.
> 
> Smut... kind of dark... smut.

You were left alone into the forest. The world was spinning around from the kiss but one thing was for certain; if you went to Erik’s room tonight, you would most definitely forget the surrounding world. However you were not sure if you were ready to cut your ties with Charles emotionally because you knew that if you did this, then you had made your mind, kind of at least, and there was no turning back. Although even though you decided to spend the night with Erik, you did not know if you wanted to be in a relationship with him. Maybe someday but not right now, besides your life… was it there in the early 60’s or 50 years into the future?

You sat in the forest until you were feeling very cold. The day had been warm for late autumn but when the sun hid behind the clouds and started to set, coldness crept from the depths of the forest, but still you did not want to leave. The forest was getting dark and you were lured into the darkness. It had fallen sneakily and invited you to embrace it, to embrace the night and the creatures that ruled it.

You knew that Erik was good. He was a kind and considerate person and he finally had a life that was very different from the life that he was supposed to have, although you did not believe in fate or destiny. However you had seen it, the bad version and you had felt the darkness which you knew that still existed in him somewhere deep, dormant. Thinking about Erik felt like playing with fire and kissing him had felt almost dangerous. He most likely did not know it himself but you could feel the darkness within him. Milder than before, but it was still there, some of it. However Erik controlled the darkness and it did not control him.  
Playing with fire excited you like you had been a moth drawn closer to the flame that was so mesmerizing and dangerous at the same time. Now you noticed that you were different, now that you had witnessed the horrors of war and stared at death straight into its eyes, now that you had lost the man that you had loved. You were not innocent anymore, your soul was stained with heartbreak and death. Yes, you were different and you were drawn to the darkness.

You had not thought about it before, not even once during your stay in the 60’s. You had now been there almost five months and this was the first time that you admitted to yourself that you had changed. You had changed and when you had previously been scared of the darkness that was in Erik, now you embraced it because you shared it. He did not know it. He thought that you were his angel, a savior, but the fact was that you were just as damaged as everyone else, maybe even more, but it had taken a kiss from a man who had almost killed you to make you face it.

You stared at the creeping darkness and reached out your hand towards it. It chilled your core but you knew that it was the path that you had set your foot on and that you had to now walk. Then you realized that this was what you had dreamt about; dark forest and those pale, dead hands reaching out for you from the cold ground, grabbing you, making you fall. You had been terrified but now you were not scared anymore. You were ready to embrace the darkness that you had brought within you when you had escaped the near death.  
Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Charles calling you for dinner. You recoiled and noticed that you were laying on the ground with your cheek pressed against the cold, dead leaves. You had no memory of when you had lay on your stomach, had you fallen. You got up and removed the leaves from your clothes and tried to clean your hands that were dirty from the soil. You decided that if anyone asked, you would say that you tripped over.

You walked back to the mansion, out from the darkness and into the light again. Charles was waiting for you at the front stairs and asked you  
\- Where have you been?  
You smiled and answered casually  
\- In the forest.  
\- This long? Erik came back almost five hours ago… Charles commented.  
\- Really? The time just slipped away. you answered casually and smiled.  
\- Aren’t you cold? Charles asked. He sounded worried, or concerned at least.  
\- No… not really. you answered.  
\- We were getting worried-  
\- You too? you asked. There was a hint of disbelief in your voice but it was there mostly because you wanted to hear his response and the tone that he responded with.  
\- Of course. What do you mean? he asked. He sounded surprised that you had doubted him.  
\- Nothing… you answered with your normal tone.  
\- Are you sure that you’re alright? You seem… different. he said with a slight hesitation decorating his voice.  
\- Yeah, I am. you answered and chuckled silently.  
\- Which one? Charles asked. He frowned his brows a little as he tried to figure you out.  
\- Either. you answered. It was a riddle for him. For the man who had forgotten you.  
\- Come, the dinner will get cold. you continued immediately.

You ate dinner with Erik and Charles. You could feel Charles knocking at the door of your mind but you did not let him in. After the dinner you wished both of the men goodnight and went into your room. You took a long bath and took your time to wash every inch of you that you could reach. At some point you heard Erik returning to his room and you got out from the bath, got dressed in your silky dressing robe and walked to the window. When the house got quiet and the lights were turned off, you lighted a candle and took it with you.

***

You stepped out from your room and walked slowly to Erik’s door. You knocked it a couple of times softly and soon Erik came to open it. He had already gone to sleep, wearing his pajama pants and a t-shirt. You did not say anything as you stepped into his room. You put the candle on the table and turned to face the tall, handsome man who was standing behind you, just a meter away.  
\- You cam-  
\- Shhh… you said and stepped a bit closer. You placed your hands on his chest and felt his defined muscles as he kept staring at you silently. You found the hem of his shirt and started to pull the shirt away and when you and exposed his chest you pressed your mouth against his skin and kissed it with hunger. Erik moaned softly and reached to open the knot of lace that was keeping your dressing robe closed.

He opened the knot slowly and then reached to kiss your neck as he slid the silky robe off your shoulders. It fell on the floor, right at your feel, leaving you completely naked in front of Erik. His lips mapped skillfully the sensitive skin of your neck as he was getting drunk from your darkness. His hands caressed the skin of your back and shoulders, not daring to the more intimate areas yet. You caressed his chest as the fingers of your other hand controlled his movements by grabbing his hair and keeping his lips where you wanted them, devouring your neck, using tongue and teeth occasionally. Suddenly you stepped back and demanded  
\- Look at me.  
Erik took a slow look from your head to toes and smiled a bit.  
\- Do you want me? you asked him.  
\- Yes… Erik answered with soft, trembling voice.  
\- Then take me. you gasped as were getting impatient.

With that Erik wrapped his arms around you and locked your lips into a deep, consuming kiss. His lips explored yours almost roughly and his tongue demanded to enter your mouth. You denied him the access at first but soon you had to give in to your own hunger. You brushed his lower lip with your tongue before surrendering your mouth to his. You felt his hand now finally moving on your breast and as he touched your nipple without a warning, you moaned against his mouth and pressed yourself against him.

Erik did not stop massaging your breast. Sometimes he pinched you which made you shake as the waves of pleasure, combined with that sweet pain spread all over your body. You did not like pain, but combined to pleasure, it made everything feel excitingly dangerous, as if you had been balancing at the edge of light and darkness, good and evil, right and wrong.

After some time Erik’s hand left your breast and ventured lower. He stroked your lower lips a couple of times before reaching any further. You pressed yourself against his hand and his finger slid into your slit. You were hot and wet already and the way Erik moved his hand against you, made you even more aroused. Your breathing got faster as he caressed your clit freely. You had even spread your legs a bit to give him a better access. Erik moved to kiss your neck and suddenly, just as you were about to come, he removed his hand from your clit and wrapped his hands around you as he lowered you onto the floor.

He lowered himself between your legs, although he stayed on his all fours and did not put his weight on you. He reached to kiss you and pinned your hands firmly against the hard, wooden floor. For a moment he drew back and stared right into your eyes in the darkness that was alight only with one candle. His eyes that usually were bright and ice blue looked now dark and mysterious. Your eyes looked the same, dark and demanding, seductive.

Then Erik leaned closer to kiss you again although this time he did not stay at your lips for long. He moved to kiss your neck, nibbled your earlobe on his way lower. He licked and kissed your upper chest and the skin between your breasts before moving to them. When he finally did, you felt electrified and involuntarily arched your back to meet his hot mouth. Erik held your hands firmly against the floor as he took your nipple into his mouth. He sucked it, teased it with his tongue and even bit it gently. He repeated the same with your other breast and chuckled against your skin mischievously as you moaned and offered yourself to him. When he was about to move lower and release your hands you moaned  
\- Tie me up.

Erik noticed the lace of your robe that was partially under your back. He shifted himself to sit on his knees between your legs and pulled you to sit. You looked into his eyes as you offered your wrists to him. He took the lace and tied it quite tightly around your wrists and then lowered you down on the floor. You placed your hands above your head and tried the knot a couple of times. You were pleased to see that the knot was not going to give in and slide open even if you tried to pull your hands apart from each other.  
You watched Erik hypnotized as he returned to kiss your breasts and then moved slowly lower. His tongue traced your stomach and finally he was at your inner thighs. He kissed them a couple of times, even bit gently and left his mark by sucking the sensitive skin. You felt his hot breath on your slit as you were spread wide open in front of him.

The first lick was long and slow. He was avoiding your clit on purpose as he concentrated on the areas around it. He sometimes accidentally brushed the most sensitive area with his tongue or lips and caused you to gasp for air as your body shivered from pleasure and lust. After playing with you he began to satisfy you. Sometimes he used the tip of his tongue and sometimes the whole width of it.  
You felt his fingers at your opening. He slid two fingers in and crooked them just the right way. He felt your inner walls and sought out your sensitive spots. Then as you were about to come, he pulled his fingers out and just as you were about to protest, he thrust three fingers in forcefully. You moaned loudly and pressed yourself against his fingers as well as his mouth. He started repeating that motion with an increasing pace until he was basically fucking you with his fingers as he assaulted your clit with his tongue.

You felt getting closer to your release and tensed up your muscles, arched your back as you came. Erik did not stop. He continued until you were completely spent, laying on the cold, hard floor with a purple mark decorating your inner thigh. He watched you closely as you recovered from your orgasm and then helped you to sit. He released your hands that now had light red marks on your wrists. You both got up. You pulled Erik’s pajama pants down and found him slightly aroused already even though you had not even touched him yet.

Erik stepped out from his pants and left them laying on the floor. You took his hand and led him to the bed.  
\- Lay down. you said with a husky, deep voice that was both intense and seductive. It sounded like dark velvet or warm, melted chocolate and it wrapped Erik into soft darkness, into sweet surrender where he was most anxious to follow you. You watched him laying on the bed, waiting. You picked up the lace from the floor and crawled on the bed, on him. You looked at Erik like he had been your prey and you were the predator who had been spying on her victim and was now about to attack.

You leaned down to kiss Erik as you sneakily tied up his wrists. Luckily the lace was long so you managed to tie his hands to the bedpost, right above his head. You tested the knot and it was not going to fail you. You nibbled Erik’s lower lip and then shifted your weight so you were able to rub your soaked flesh against his semi-hardened member. It made Erik moan against your mouth which you soon abandoned as your plan was to taste him before taking him.

You kissed his neck as your hands caressed the muscles of his arms. You used your entire mouth to cause him pleasure that was spiced up with gentle pain when you used your teeth just to nibble him softly. You moved lower to kiss his chest. You traced his muscles with your tongue as you got slowly lower. You shifted yourself again and moved to sit on his legs.  
You caressed his inner thighs with your hands and then finally brushed the soft, sensitive skin of his manhood with your fingertips. You followed closely Erik’s reactions, how his breathing got faster and how soft moans escaped his lips when you wrapped your hand firmly around his shaft and started to move your hand slowly up and down.

You liked to be in control for now although you also wanted to be controlled. But now you were in control and you were not going to let him come, not yet. You stopped moving and when Erik’s breathing had returned to somewhat normal, you kissed the tip, teased the sensitive flesh with your tongue and then took him into your mouth. He tasted salty and his hard flesh felt exciting against your lips as he slid deeper into the hot, wet depths of your mouth. You kept moving your hand until he was entirely aroused.

Erik was very large and you wanted to try how deep into your mouth you could take him. Therefore you removed your hand and moved your head into a better angle before you started to slide down. You listened to the sounds that he made and stopped getting any deeper when you felt that you could not breathe anymore. You kept him there until you felt like passing out. You let him slid entirely out from your mouth as you shifted yourself again.  
You returned to sit on his crotch with your knees firmly against the mattress on the both sides of his hips. His large cock was standing right in front of you, waiting for you to claim it. You raised yourself and grabbed his shaft. You kept his manhood in its place as you rubbed your slit against it and spread your wetness to the tip. You rubbed him against your clit and then repositioned yourself so he was right at your opening.

After a moment of teasing him you let yourself slide on him. You did not stop although the stretch was a bit painful. Just when you had filled yourself entirely with him, then you stopped and allowed a moment for yourself to adjust to his size. Erik let out a deep, silent groan as he enjoyed your tightness around his hard flesh. When you were ready, you started to move slowly. You lifted yourself until he was almost entirely out and then you lowered yourself on him rapidly. This you repeated a couple of times until you started to grind yourself to him.  
His size felt amazing, he felt amazing. You leaned down to kiss him and then returned to sit straight. Your hands massaged his chest as you rocked yourself into orgasm with circular hip movements. Erik tried to answer your movements but you controlled him with your weight. You threw your head back, bit your lip and closed your eyes as you got closer to your release. Erik enjoyed the view a lot but he did not like to be controlled like that. 

Not anymore.

Therefore he kept moving his hands until the silky knot loosened and he managed to free them. He sat up immediately, wrapped his arms around you and rolled you down on the bed. You gasped as he slammed into you and locked your hands above your head with one of his strong hands. The other moved on your throat and squeezed it softly, denying you the precious air that you were gasping for and then moved on your breast. He massaged it quite roughly as he kept thrusting his cock into you with deep, intense movements. Finally his hand left your breast and ventured lower.

Erik slowed down his movements, let go of your hands and shifted himself. He raised your feet on his shoulders and locked them there with his other hand. You reached to seek support from the bedpost and grabbed it like your life had been depending on it. Erik started to fuck you hard. He pulled almost out and slammed himself in entirely, so deep that it was almost painful but at this moment it was just the thing you needed. He started to move himself with a fast pace and placed his free hand on your clit.

He caressed your most sensitive areas as he filled you entirely until you clenched around his hard, demanding flesh and collapsed to the mattress. The world faded away as you sank deeper into the sweet release that was filled with darkness and the sounds of your own breathing and the moans that Erik made. He kept fucking you until he came as well. He let go your legs and let them fall on both sides of him. Then he pulled out and thrust himself slowly in as he returned to kiss you. You nibbled his lower lip and moaned with a sultry smile on your face when his cock brushed against your clit and sent delicious after-shivers all over your tired body.

You both were sweaty and tired, completely exhausted as well as satisfied. The marks from your wrists were gone but you knew that they had been there. This was you playing with fire and you had liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listened to   
> Massive Attack - Angel  
> while writing this... I guess it is one of the reasons why this got so dark :D  
> It is a good song :D and the lyrics fit the chapter pretty well.


	11. Playing with Charles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this story is getting pretty dark... so I am sorry if it is not to your liking. I might someday come up with an alternative version but I cannot get rid of this version unless I write it down. It will haunt me otherwise.
> 
> So... Erik goes away and Charles finds out everything.

You were about to leave the bed when Erik wrapped his arm around you and pulled you to lay in his arms. You had been quite different that he had expected and now he was slightly unsure if he wanted a relationship with you. In a way he did but then again he was somewhat afraid that you did not feel the same and you had been only after something else. However he did not want to let you go either. If there was something going on with you it was only better if he was there for you even if it was only physical what you wanted from him. Besides you were different now than you had been before the kiss. Something had happened to you in between the dinner and the moment Erik had left you alone in the forest.

You fell asleep and had disturbing dreams of you being in the cold world alone and even Erik abandoned you. In the dream he told you that you were too damaged for him now and he could not love you. When you woke up the other side of the bed was empty and you were alone. So Erik had wanted you to stay the night and then left himself when he had the chance. In a way you were relieved because you did not want to deal with that “morning after” bullshit right now but then again, you had been abandoned and it meant that Erik had wanted nothing but sex from you.

Had you wanted something more yourself? You were not sure. You had mostly wanted to feel something; togetherness or warmth but instead of that you had ended up on the wild side and now you felt empty. Sure it had been very good and satisfying but it was quite obvious that it had scared Erik or something. He was nowhere to be seen since you were alone in the bed and even though you had called his name for a couple of times, there had been no answer. You got out from the bed, got dressed in the dressing gown and left the room.

You went into yours, took a quick shower and then got dressed up. You went to get some breakfast and bumped into Erik on your way there. He was just returning from his morning jogging and greeted you with a joyful tone. You smiled and hid your emotions completely as you decided that you had to try. You had to try to resist the darkness that was luring you away from the warmth and light. Erik was light, or at least he could be the light for you if he just wanted or if you let him to but somehow you got a feeling from him that he had gotten what he had wanted from you and he was now moving on.

The thing with Erik was that he was afraid that he was not able to save you. He was lured to you and you had indeed been quite different from what he had expected. So different that he was now troubled that if he continued being close to you, you would lead him away from the balance that he had in his mind. Unlike you thought, he was aware of the darkness that was in his mind but he also knew that he was able to control it and it did not control him.  
Therefore he was afraid that letting you close, although he had been the one trying to get close to you in the first place, could eventually tip the scales and lure him to the dark side. Sure it would be exciting and very pleasurable with you but then again, maybe you needed someone who did not have that darkness inside. Maybe you were too damaged for Erik. He had to leave for a moment to clear his head. Maybe when he came back he would know what to do and maybe then he knew how to help you, how to save you.

You went to the dining room and sat down to eat. Charles told you that Erik was about to join soon. He had wanted to get some fresh air for some reason and he had woken up much sooner than he usually did. He had not told Charles about what had happened but somehow Charles had sensed that something was now different with him and it had something to do with you. Then Erik arrived to the breakfast. You smiled briefly as you wished him good morning. He smiled and told you that he had some business in London and he would be gone for a day or two, three or four maximum.  
He did not have to say anything more. You knew that he was leaving because of you. He had spent one night with you and now he had to get away from you. It was so obvious that it made you nauseous. Therefore you left the table immediately when you had eaten. You had been ready to try something with Erik and the more that you had been thinking about it, the better the idea of relationship had felt but now he was leaving. You went to your room and lay on your bed. Erik entered the room quickly without knocking and sat on the edge of the bed.

\- I am not leaving because of last night. he said after a long silence.  
\- I know you are. you stated with a silent voice.  
\- I would like to save you, but I do not know how. he said with a defeated tone.  
\- Why do you think I need to be saved? you asked. You could feel yourself sinking deeper into your own darkened thoughts but you had wanted to think that you were able to control it. You would fight if Erik just stayed. You would keep reaching to the light and push the darkness away. You would forget everything bad that ever happened and concentrate to the present time where everything was pretty alright.  
\- Last night… It was very intense and… great but it was also very emotionless. I know you do not love me and I am not saying that you used me to get… whatever it was you wanted to get from me… but-  
\- But you’re saying that you do not love me anymore. you summed up what he tried to say but was clearly unable to put into words or then he just did not dare to say it straight up.  
\- I think… I am not good for you and you’re not good for me, not right now at leats. I felt last night something dark within me and it was very luring but if I’ll give in to it now, I am not sure if I will be able to resist it later. Erik said and put his hand on your leg.

\- What darkness? you asked although you knew exactly what he meant. You had hoped that he would not have felt it… the dark connection between you two, but he had and he was not going to embrace it. No, Erik thought or knew that it would be too dangerous.  
\- Something happened to you in that forest yesterday and until you learn how to control it, it is not safe for me to be near to you. Erik said. He sounded apologetic and determined at the same time.  
\- Fine. you stated with a cold, distant tone.  
\- Maybe you should talk about it to Charles. He has a PhD in psychology-  
\- Are you serious? you scoffed. Erik was telling you to talk Charles because he was a shrink and especially when Charles was one of the biggest reasons why you were mentally so broken.  
\- Maybe you should let him see what you’re hiding-  
\- You are serious! you exclaimed and left the bed. You walked around in your room and rolled your eyes every time when they met with Erik’s.  
\- Maybe that is the way to save you. Charles has been very helpful and his friendship has provided me some balance and a way to deal with the horrors of my past. Erik spoke with a soft tone.  
\- Just go, Erik. you said and pointed at the door.  
He was not going to leave so you shouted “get out” and when he did and closed the door behind him, you walked to the bed and threw a pillow against the door. 

You knew that he had a point; at the moment you were like a person who was drowning and trying to grab anything that would hold you on the surface. You had grabbed Erik but unfortunately he could barely swim and if he let you to hold onto him, you would sink him as well and you knew from personal experience that sinking Erik was not a good idea.

You stayed in your room because you did not want to talk with anyone. You heard Charles and Erik having a conversation and you walked to the window that was facing to the front yard. It was impossible to hear what the men were saying, but you could sense that they were talking about you. You were hiding behind the curtain watching how Erik was talking to Charles with a serious look on his face and then Charles raised his head and stared at your window. 

Erik was actually telling Charles that he was worried that there was something wrong with you and he was afraid that if you did not accept help soon, you would be beyond anyone’s reach. He also told Charles that your mind was filled with secrets that you could not carry by yourself and when you had told Erik some bits and pieces, he had a feeling that you were leaving things out. Charles nodded and watched his friend getting into his car and then driving away.

You were done. You were so done that you could not even describe how done you were. You decided not to care and left your mind unguarded. It was kind of a test for Charles how long would it take that he had read your mind and discovered all your dirty secrets. What would he do with the knowledge? Would he come up with some kind of solution as he always did or would be think that you were beyond any hope? Did you want to be saved? Maybe the dark side was better because there you did not have to worry about stupid things such as trusting anyone or letting anyone close. You had taken the trip on the dark side last night and you had enjoyed it. “Unfortunately it was too much for Erik to handle so screw Erik” you thought as you returned to lay on your bed. You fell asleep and this time no dreams bothered you; neither good ones nor bad ones.

Charles was sitting in his room. It was getting dark and he was thinking about you. For a change he had some free time in his hands and he had a feeling that you were not guarding your mind. It worried him because it sort of felt like you had given up. He raised his fingers on his forehead and leaned back in his armchair as he was concentrating. The fire was warming his face as he was sitting by the fireplace but suddenly as he was inside you mind he got freezing cold. The front door was completely open and the house was cold. Charles walked along the dark corridors and visited rooms that represented your memories.

The memory that was closest to the front door was the memory of the night you had spent with Erik followed by the conversation about him being unable to be near you otherwise he would lose the balance he had in his life. Charles felt the darkness spreading in your mind and it made him worried. He ventured deeper and went through your life. There was nothing and he was surprised. Then he came across a door that said “deleted files”. He put his hand on the handle and opened it.

Then suddenly his mind was filled with everything that had happened. He saw himself falling in love with you and felt the love that you had had for him. He saw Erik who was completely different from the man he was now. Charles saw him hurting you and forcing you into his childhood and finally he saw the horrors of Nazi Germany. He saw you staring your death straight into its eyes. That was the end of “deleted files”. He noticed a door that had not been there before and opened it. He saw you waking up in your own bed and slowly realizing what had happened. Charles saw how you had gotten back to the pub and then Charles felt the disappointment and confusion that had filled your mind when you had realized that the man whom you had loved, had forgotten you.

Charles felt your confusion when you had met Erik again… and Erik knew that you had had feelings for Charles but he had chosen not to tell Charles about them. Erik had chosen to be loyal towards you but not towards his friend, the friend who had helped him to face his own troubles this entire time and now Erik had betrayed Charles that way. And then you had tried to lure his friend to the dark side so you would not be lonely there. No wonder why Erik left!  
There was only one thing to do now. Charles was going to confront you about everything he had learned about the things that happened and did happen before. He wanted to know why you had kept such a secret from him; you had loved him and he had loved you. Did you appreciate him and all that he had done for you so little that you had decided that he had no right to know? Because Charles was absolutely sure that he had had the right to know. In his opinion you had been lying to him the entire time and betrayed his trust.

You woke up early in the next morning knowing that Charles had gone through your memories and he had even found the recycle bin, the dark storage room called “deleted files”. You felt that he was angry and he so very rarely was angry. You decided to lock your mind again and leave the mansion for a moment. It was a rather rainy day but you did not care. You needed to get some air and clear your head. There were too many thoughts spinning around and around and if you did not get some fresh, cold air in the forest that had become your hiding place during the few past months, you were sure that you would either go insane or pass out. The mansion felt like a prison and your room was a tiny cell with walls falling on you. The forest was the place where you were free and no one criticized you there. You did not owe anything to the forest and it did not want anything from you.

You were getting dressed and heading out when you heard Charles calling you. You were just coming down the stairs and stopped when Charles hijacked your mind and did not let you to take yet another step. You turned your head to see Charles, not even a bit surprised when you saw that he was not smiling at you like he usually did. No, he looked quite pissed off actually and sooner than you even realized you found yourself sitting opposite from him in the sitting room. He knew your every secret and he had not liked what he had found. It was so obvious that it made you nauseous. So many things made you mentally nauseous.

\- So you know. you said and tried to move. Charles however was partially controlling your mind and he prevented you from standing up and leaving the chair.  
\- Yes. he answered and stared at you with his big blue eyes that now scanned your every move, every change in your facial expressions and every, even the slightest shifts in your tone.  
\- All of it? you asked keeping you tone somewhat normal. You managed to keep him out from your thoughts, luckily, so even though you were tired and fed up and partially lost control of your mind, you still had some say and you said that Charles was not invited into your thoughts and memories.  
\- Yes. Charles answered with a calm tone. It was so calm that it annoyed you greatly.  
\- Why? you asked.  
\- Because Erik is worried about you. he answered and monitored how you reacted to the name or the fact that Erik was worried about you. He could sense that in your opinion it was highly unnecessary for anyone to be worried about you. In the matter of fact, it was better if everybody just stopped to give a fuck.  
\- Oh, ain’t that cute? you scoffed sarcastically. You had wanted to love Erik, or at least try to learn to love him, but he had betrayed you by leaving you. Sure you understood why he had done it but still it hurt.  
\- Stop that! Charles shouted. He did not like it when you were being sarcastic or did not take matters seriously. Now was exactly that kind of moment when you were supposed to be honest and serious about your own well-being but you were defiant and sarcastic.

\- What exactly? you asked. Your eyes were fixed upon Charles and you were measuring his words as he was measuring yours. You could feel him getting frustrated, angry and impatient and it amused your newly found dark side greatly. You liked to see him so upset, not because you wanted to hurt him but because he had hurt himself by snooping around like an overly nosy child. It was too late to cry about it now.  
\- Answering me with short phrases that make it only worse. he stated when he noticed that you liked to see him so worked up. You were in control of the situation although Charles was supposed to be that powerful telepath. However you just kept beating him up in his own game, all the time. Every time when you managed to make him to raise his voice, it was one point more to your score.  
\- How can I possibly make it worse? Whatever happened, did not happen but it still exists in my mind. you stated with an annoyingly casual tone. It was the truth. What had happened before was only in your own mind and it was your burden to carry.  
\- I loved you! Charles said and stood up. He started to sound desperate which on the other hand made you very sad but then again… this all was his own doing. You had not asked him to look around your memories, especially in the basement that held the darkest secrets.  
\- No you did not. you said and followed him with your gaze as he walked around the room nervously. You knew that your dark side was playing mind games with him. You were playing mind games with him because you were resisting him.  
\- I did and there is nothing you can say to-  
\- It never happened. you laughed. 

Your laughter hurt Charles and made him feel small. It was also teasing him, making him angry, luring him to the dark side as well. You had been able to sense other people’s powers and their mood as well as the thing that defined them but now that you had been almost killed by your friend, faced the surrounding death, almost got shot, lost the man you had loved, dealt with terrible nightmares and now the person who you had hoped that would understand you and help you to deal with all of it had just left… Yes, you could do more than just sense other people’s mood. You could now see the darkness in them and summon it.

\- You should have told me! Charles shouted and walked to the chair that was on the opposite side from you. He leaned to the back of it and stared at you.  
\- Why? you asked curiously as you tilted your head.  
\- Because maybe it was supposed to happen! Now you have taken the chance for love away from me and forced my dearest friend kept the secret from me. Charles stated. It was amusing how he was blaming you for things that had never happened. Talking about them did not make them real. Snooping around your mind did not make them real either.  
\- Well excuse me. It was easier for everyone if you did not know. Besides I did not force Erik to do anything. He decided to do as I asked him but-  
\- You told him but not me! Charles gasped. It was getting harder for him to control himself. The feeling was new to him because he was usually the one who was in charge. He was the mighty telepath who had fallen now under the influence of your darkness.  
\- I didn’t. He guessed. you answered. Your tone was unnaturally calm all the time. You let Charles to do all the shouting and it made you feel powerful.  
\- When? Charles pleaded.  
\- Does it matter? you asked.  
\- Yes! Charles shouted.  
\- You do not need to ask these questions. You know the answers already, don’t you? you stated because he knew it to be true. Charles had gone through your memories and he knew exactly what had happened. Therefore this conversation was entirely useless in your opinion. Charles however did not feel the same way.

\- True, but I wanted to hear it from you. You owe me that. he said and sat down.  
\- I do not owe you anything. you stated.  
\- I have given you home here. I have given Erik home here and now you both betray me like this. Is that how you both thank me? he asked. Charles honestly felt that he had had the right to know and you had owed him the truth. That had been the only thing that he had asked for.  
\- Are you now happier? Now that you “know” what happened? you asked. “Although, it never happened” you added. A silence followed. Charles did not know what to say. No, he was not any happier, in the matter of fact, he had never been unhappier and the longing for revenge was completely new to him. If he had been in total control of his own self and his emotions, he would had realized that it was the darkness in you that had lured him to get so upset and angry. Charles had never felt darkness as yours. It was terrifying and mesmerizing at the same time. If he had been in control of his own mind, he would have understood that this was exactly the thing that Erik was running away from.

Then suddenly he said  
\- It was supposed to be me… You should have come to my room last night. Not Erik’s! You do not love Erik! he exclaimed. “Oh, he is jealous now” you thought. It was amusing, sad and entertaining at the same time.  
\- I do not love you either. I do not want you. you said with a cold tone. You were playing with fire again, luring Charles further away from his rational mind. If he followed you into the darkness, he would not be the same again.  
\- Oh I’ll make you want me. Charles said and released you. You stood immediately up and walked slowly out from the room and out from the entire mansion. You did not know what had gone into you. It was the same thing that you had felt yesterday. It had taken over you and you had not been able to resist it and to be honest; you had not wanted to resist it. Being dark was good when the light kept hurting you.

Charles felt bitter. He had been kissed by your darkness and this was the way it influenced him. He had not felt that bitter ever before and he wanted to have his revenge as soon as possible. He was determined that he would make you want him and force you to surrender yourself to him. He had seen how you had taken Erik. You had enjoyed being in control but when he would have his fun with you, he would have total control and he would make you enjoy it even if it was against your will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning for the next chapter.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Angel_Style who said that she would not mind if the reader got a bit darker :D So... here, have a dark reader because apparently usually the reader/main character is always good in other stories... (in mine as well) so this time... we'll take a trip to the dark side in the form of the reader :D


	12. Charles' revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut... a bit strange, dark smut...  
> Maybe even not-entirely-consensual -smut but that part is happening entirely in the readers mind and no "mind-rape"...

It was raining when you went outside. You closed your eyes and let the water fall on your face from the skies. The rain soaked your clothes as well as your hair and made you shiver but you could not care less. It was early afternoon and the sun was high up, or it would have been if there had not been that thick cloud blanket shadowing the horizon as well as your mind. You walked into the forest. It looked quite different now since there had been heavy rain and wind during the previous nights so now almost all of the trees had been stripped bare. There was a scent of everything rotting around you in the air and leaves that the day before yesterday had been shining in all the different colors on the ground were now turning brown and slimy. The sight was mesmerizing as you imagined seeing everything as a time lapse video, how the colorful forest turned brown and dead in front of your eyes, how dead things got eaten until there was nothing left, almost like your soul was turning into something wicked or sinister even, until there was nothing of your previous self left.

Sure you thought that you could control it and you had made a choice and the choice had been entirely your own, but the truth was that you did not know if you even wanted to control it anymore. The light brought you only heartbreak and the shadow that ruled your mind now was part of you. It had been awakened just two days ago although it had been growing and existing in your mind from the moment when Erik had forced you to face his demons. There had been so much death, so much survivor’s guilt that when you had come back, you had brought it all with you, deep hidden within you.

First it had manifested itself as nightmares that had then stopped… or actually you did not know if they had ever stopped. Sure you had thought so but maybe thing was that you had become numb towards them. Maybe it had not been Erik who had pushed the darkness away by holding you while you slept, maybe you had continued having the nightmares but you had only gotten used to them and they had not shocked you anymore. The darkness had waited. It had waited that your feelings for Charles had faded away and you had gotten closer to Erik. Maybe it was the reason why Erik had been drawn to you and you to him.

The day was gloomy and gray. You could sense that Charles was up to something. You were curious to know what it was so you left the forest and returned into the mansion. Your clothes were wet and you decided to take a long, warm bath so therefore you went straight into your room, filled the bathtub with water and got undressed. You were about to lock the door but for some reason you did not. The feeling of something coming, waiting for you just around the corner was strangely luring.

You stepped into the bath and lowered yourself slowly into the water that felt hot against your freezing skin. You leaned back and let your mind slip away. You opened your eyes and saw Charles sitting in the chair opposite from you. His eyes were darkened and he kept staring at you with a hungry spark in his eyes. You did not try to cover yourself. You just stared at him with a calm look on your face and tilted your head to expose the attractive curve of your neck.  
\- What are you doing here? you asked.  
\- I will make you to want me. Charles stated. You chuckled and leaned forward and lifted your hands on the both borders if the tub.  
\- How are you going to do that? you asked. The fact was that you did not want Charles and hearing him state that you did, was highly amusing and you knew that it irritated him.  
\- You’ll see. he said and stared at you with a thoughtful look on his face.  
\- I will scream. you said with a smirk decorating your features.  
\- No you will not. You will be too busy begging for more. he stated and stared at your naked form with hunger burning in his eyes. You knew that he was plotting and he enjoyed what he saw.

\- But I do not want you. It is funny, really how there was a time when I would have done anything for you. Thinking about the fool I was… a fool in love… it just makes me sick. you scoffed. No, you were not going to give yourself to Charles. Not now, not ever.  
\- You are still the same person. he stated.  
\- No… Even you’re not the same person anymore. In fact, you have never been that person. you answered and bit your lip. It made Charles to focus his attention to your rosy lips that looked very inviting.  
\- What makes you so different now? he asked curiously. He was keen to know if you knew that there was something “wrong” with you.  
\- Obscure power… you stated and smiled as you put your hand on your knee and slid it slowly higher. Charles was staring, completely mesmerized and then shifted his eyes back to your face when he noticed that you knew that he was staring.  
\- Darkness? he asked.  
\- Oh yes. You can feel it, you are drawn to it… but I will not give it to you. you said and smiled mischievously as you shook your head slowly. You felt like you were in control. It was so entertaining and interesting how Charles who was usually so rational and decent was now drawn to you but you were not going to give yourself to him. No, he had his chance but he did not take it. Maybe if he had fallen in love with you, maybe if he had been less busy, it would have stopped whatever was happening to you.  
\- You will be knocking on my door tonight. Charles said and stood up. He took one long look at you as you leaned back in the bathtub and closed your eyes. You were completely sure that it would not happen but you did not mind if he tried.  
\- Bring it on. you said as he left the bathroom.

You continued bathing and let your mind slip away. Suddenly you opened your eyes inside your mind and noticed that you were in a room. There were many candles all around and you noticed a large bed in the middle of it. There were no windows or doors so it was impossible for you to escape. You laughed and said  
\- One of your tricks?  
Your voice echoed in the room and suddenly you heard Charles’ voice behind you stating  
\- Yes… and I master these tricks quite well.   
You turned to look and saw him stepping out from the shadows. He was wearing a dressing robe and so were you, although yours was missing the lace and it was impossible to keep the robe closed. You did not even try and let the silky cloth hang on your shoulders in a way that it revealed a slice of bare skin from your collarbones down to your stomach all the way down to your inner thighs.  
\- As you can see, there is no escape. he continued and walked closer. You did not back away because it would be a certain sign of weakness just as minding the fact that your dressing robe was open from the front and was providing Charles a view that he was enjoying greatly.  
\- Does not matter. This is not real. you scoffed and kept your ground although Charles was standing right in front of you now.

\- I will make you want me. he said, put his hands on your shoulders and slid the robe on the floor. He stared at your naked body and smirked before walking behind you and gathering your hair on the other side of your head. This exposed your neck and you could feel Charles blowing warm air on your skin. It sent shivers down your spine.  
\- What shall I do with you? he mumbled into your ear without actually touching you. At this point you wanted to step away but you couldn’t. Your mind was totally frozen and despite you had believed that you were in control, the truth was that you were not. You knew that you were sitting in the bathtub, alone and this all was just in your head but you were unable to wake up or move. You could not even cover yourself so you were completely under his mercy and he had no mercy for you. It was his payback time and he was going to enjoy it.  
\- It is only in my mind. I do not care what you do to me… It is not real-

At that moment Charles kissed your neck. With a whisper he ordered you to tilt your head and you followed him like you had been under a spell. You were offering your neck unwillingly and when he pressed his mouth against your skin, you could only sigh and close your eyes. He kissed the spot under your ear with hunger and tangled his fingers into your hair to keep you just in the position that he wanted. He used his teeth and tongue to devour your neck and it felt very real. You kept telling yourself that it was not happening but Charles heard your thoughts and only chuckled as a response.

Charles’ hand left your hair and traveled on your shoulder He placed other hand also on your other shoulder and stopped kissing your neck. He ran his fingers up and down on your arms before moving down on your upper chest. He traced your collarbones with soft brushes and sometimes slid his fingers between your breasts. He kept his touches very light and kind but you knew that he was trying to trick you to trust him.  
\- Raise your hands. he whispered into your ear and you had no other choice than to obey him. When you did he slid his hands on your sides, still standing behind you and stroked your skin with long, fluent movements, all the way from your hips to your fingertips. Then he slowly returned lower and this time he stopped at the level of your breasts. He started to brush the sides of them and traced the shape with his fingertips. He continued this for long time, mapping and memorizing every spot before even touching your nipples.

\- Would you like me to stop? he asked just as he was going to touch your nipples that were already hard. Your mind was getting aroused against your will and Charles knew it.  
\- Yes. I am telling you to stop. you whimpered as you waited for his next move.  
\- You can tell me anything but since this is not really happening, I do not have to listen to you. Charles answered. His tone had an undertone of darkness in it and it was a reminder that you had started this yourself. His fingers circled your nipples and just when you were least expecting it, he cupped your breasts and rubbed the nipples with his thumbs. You arched your back as you moaned softly. It was not really happening but it felt too real, so real that your mental image of your body was offering itself to Charles against your will.

Your chest started to heave as Charles’ hands massaged and caressed your breasts with slow movements. Suddenly he stopped and removed his hands. You were having mixed feelings about it; on the other hand you were relieved but then again, you were also disappointed because you were enjoying what he had been doing very much. You were not going to admit it and you would fight against him until the bitter end but the sudden lack of his touch made you frustrated.

Charles walked in front of you and let you to lower your hands. He stepped, leaving almost no space between your bodies. He put his finger on your chin and guided you to look at him. You stared at him, deep into his eyes that looked dark blue in the dim lights. He traced your lips with his thumb and placed his other hand behind your neck. Charles smiled a little as he pressed his thumb against your lower lip and rubbed it. The motion made your lips tingle and you opened your mouth slightly as a reaction but still you did not surrender.  
\- So defiant, still thinking that you’re more powerful than I am. Charles said and then pressed his lips against yours. His lips explored your lips softly at first as he was luring you to abandon your own free will. Then suddenly he engaged your mouth into a heated kiss and you could even feel his tongue teasing yours, challenging it to dance with his. You had no other choice than to answer to his kisses and the line between your own will and his was getting dangerously blurred.

Charles pressed his hand on your breast and started to massage it with the perfect unison with his kisses. You moaned and panted as his actions were turning from sweet and gentle to passionate and hungry. Charles moved his hand from your breast and slid it on your stomach. He kept nearing your most private parts but he was not going to touch you yet. He stroked your inner thighs only softly and brushed accidentally your lower lips once or twice. Then he stepped away from you and ordered you to get on the bed. You managed to gather your thoughts and realized that this, whatever this was, was not supposed to happen. You did not want it.

\- No, I don’t want… you whimpered but when Charles nodded at you, you felt yourself moving, climbing on the bed and then laying on your back. Charles was controlling your mind but did not hijack it completely. He wanted you to know what he was doing to you in your mind but kept you completely unable to resist. You watched him opening the dressing robe he was wearing and revealing himself to you. He took the robe off and crawled on top of you. He did not touch you, only kept staring into your eyes that were filled with both fear and hunger.

Charles was very pleased with the sight. The look on your face as you tried to resist him, the way your body was waiting for him to touch you, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He lowered himself to kiss you and again you had no other choice than to kiss him with same passion. You sighed when he left your lips and moved to kiss your neck. He kept going lower very slowly, memorizing every curve until he was on your breasts. He teased your nipple with his tongue before taking it into his mouth. When he did you moaned and arched your back as you offered yourself to him. Charles knew that he was not making you move the way you did; it was you, your own mind playing with his. The lines were getting blurred once again.

He traced the shape of your breasts with his tongue and then kissed his way lower. He shifted himself and guided you to spread your legs for him. You realized again what was happening and tried to resist him but it was too late. You felt Charles kissing your inner thigh as his fingers stroked your lower lips. “This is not real” you gasped as he slid one finger slowly into you. Your image of yourself was extremely aroused and when Charles pulled his finger out, it was completely slick from you.

You gasped when you felt Charles’ tongue on your slit, slowly tracing it and luring you to give in. You kept repeating to yourself within your mind that it was only a stupid mind trick that Charles was playing with you, but when he pressed his tongue against your clit exactly the same time when he slid two of his fingers inside you, you could not help but shake from pleasure. You comforted yourself with the knowledge of it all being just in your head, a literal mind-fuck, and told yourself that it was not that bad if you gave in just a little.

But Charles did not need you to give in. Like this, you resisting him and assuring yourself that it was not real, it was much more satisfying to him. He kept moving his fingers as deep as he could and licking your clit until your moans were getting too loud and you were about to reach an orgasm. Then he stopped and the room faded away. You opened your eyes and stared at the bathroom wall. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand when you realized how close to giving yourself to him you had been. You washed yourself quickly because the water had gone cold already and the sun was already setting. It was almost dinner time.

You got dressed and checked the time. Yes, it was dinner time and this time there was not going to be any other people having dinner, just you and Charles. The thought frightened and excited you at the same time. You decided that you would not mention his mind tricks and if he brought it up, if he intended to continue whatever it was what he had been doing, you would be stronger this time and stop him.

The dining room was empty when you got there. The table was already set but Charles was missing and the dinner was never served until the master of the house had arrived. Soon you heard familiar footsteps and Charles walked in. He smirked at you and then helped you to sit down. He accidentally brushed your neck and sent you a mental image of him kissing the very same spot. You swallowed and held your breath for a moment. The food was being served and Charles kept the conversation casual during the staff members were in the room. When they were gone, he asked  
\- Are you looking forward to tonight?  
\- No… why should I? you smirked defiantly.  
\- Because… That’s when you’ll visit my room. Charles answered.  
\- Why would I do that? you asked and smirked arrogantly. If Charles thought that he was able to make you do things against your will-  
\- No, not against you will. You will want it. You will beg me for it. he stated as he sipped his wine. You ignored that and started to eat.  
\- Maybe this obscure power of yours is not that bad thing after all. he added and finished his wine.   
You were not going to share your power with him even though it was like an endless stream of darkness that was just flowing forward, it was not going to run out and there was plenty to share, but you did not want to share it with Charles. 

You excused yourself immediately when you had eaten. You went out on the terrace to get some air and clear your mind when you Charles knocking at the door of your mind again. You tried to shake him off but could not.  
Again you were in the room, laying against the soft pillows and cool bed sheets. You cursed when you realized that you could not move or even close your legs. You felt Charles’ presence in the room once more. He stepped out from the shadows and this time he was fully clothed unlike you. You were entirely naked and feeling even more exposed than before. Charles continued what he had been doing before. The previous time you had been seduced slowly into it, but not this time.

This time he just took you with his fingers and mouth. You were not even aroused anymore but it did not matter to him. He kept tasting you and moving his fingers in and out, crooking them as he sucked and teased your clit until you were in the edge of the orgasm again. Then he stopped, returned to kiss your breasts and finally your lips as you were dealing with deep frustration and disappointment.  
\- Why did you stop? you whimpered.  
\- You’re not ready yet. Charles answered as he faded away from your mind.  
\- Ready for what? you asked and noticed that you were supporting yourself to a railing as you were standing alone on the terrace. You bit your lip that was tingling from the idea of Charles kissing you. His mind tricks had started to affect you for real. You were shivering and decided to go to the sitting room. There was a fireplace and you needed to feel warmth to balance the cold.

Charles was there too, sitting by the fireplace, sipping wine from a fancy glass. You froze when you saw him and decided to retire early instead but he noticed you and gestured you to join him. You took a deep breath and then walked into the room. You lifted the armchair a bit further away from Charles and then sat down. You kept staring at the flames when your mind slipped away again. This time you were in a room with no doors and or windows. There was one armchair, where you were sitting in and a fireplace.

You noticed that you were wearing your clothes and you let yourself relax. The fire warmed your skin and you felt entirely comfortable. Then you felt someone breathing behind you and as you focused your mind you realized that you were sitting on Charles’ lap. Your head was leaning onto his shoulder and you felt his lips nibbling your earlobe softly. His fingers traced your neck and then ventured lower. He touched your breasts through the fabric of your shirt and bra before slipping his hand under the them.

You tensed up as Charles was not controlling your mind. He was only controlling the setting but not your actions. “Shhh” he whispered into your ear as he kept caressing you with slow movements. His other hand was on your thigh massaging it gently through your skirt. You felt your hem getting higher as his fingers gathered the fabric and finally he stopped and rested his hand on your bare thigh. He waited until your mind relaxed again and then he started caressing your thigh again before moving higher and reaching the inner parts of your thigh.

Charles’ fingers caressed you through your panties, just softly before pressing his finger against the fabric with more pressure. You shook a little as you sighed and let yourself relax in his embrace. Your chest was heaving as his fingers rubbed your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. He stopped and slid his fingers under the fabric. He pressed them against your clit but did not move. Charles wanted to test if you were ready yet.

\- Move yourself for me. he whispered and pinched your nipple between his fingers. You shook slightly and again as his fingers rubbed your clit by your own movements. This time you listened to his voice and did as he asked willingly. You sought support from the arms of the chair and started to move yourself slowly with circular motions as well as back and forth. You moaned and quickened your pace as you got closer to your release. But just like previously, you were ripped away from the imaginary room just before you were going to reach your orgasm.

You opened your eyes and noticed Charles staring at you. He smirked, winked his eye at you and then stood up. He whispered inside your mind “I’ll be waiting” and left the room. You realized that you were basically soaked and your skin was aching to be touched for real. You did not want to let Charles to win although it really was looking like you were going to surrender yourself to him. “No!” you shouted inside your mind and stood up. You retired to your own room and changed into your pajama before crawling into your bed.

When you closed your eyes you were in that room again. This time you were able to open your eyes and stop if you wanted. You stared at the ceiling of your own room and then closed your eyes again. You were laying naked on the bed, waiting. This time Charles was not wearing any clothes. You spread your legs for him and welcomed him close freely. He lowered himself on top of you and started to rub himself against you. You could feel him getting aroused and deliciously slick from you, ready to slide into you, as he rubbed himself against your slit and hit your clit with every move. You felt his hard manhood pressing against your opening and just as you were expecting him to thrust himself further, he faded away and left you all alone on the bed, into the room that had no walls now. You had been free to join him and leave him… but now he had left you.

You remembered what Charles had said. He had told you that he was waiting. You opened your eyes and thought your options through. Sure you could pleasure yourself but somehow it felt like a lame substitute. You got out from bed and left your room. You had never been in Charles’ room but you knew where it was. You walked up to the third floor and knocked the door. After a moment the door was opened and you walked in. Charles closed the door after you and locked it. You stared him doing so and smirked. It was not like you were going to escape, but maybe it was better to be safe than sorry.

\- I knew you would come-  
\- Shut up, Charles. you said and walked to him. You opened his dressing robe and pulled it off his shoulders with one forceful motion. He was not wearing anything under and now he was completely naked in front of you. He pulled off your shirt caressed your skin. It felt so much better than you had imagined, or he had imagined for you. His fingers traced your breasts as you stroked his manhood. He was getting hard in your skillful hands and you wanted nothing more than to make him ready so he could finally give you what you had been denied the entire afternoon and evening.

But it was not what Charles had in mind. He had told you that he would be in control and expect you to surrender to him willingly. He whispered into your ear that he was expecting you to suck him and if your mouth was skillful enough, he would give you what you needed, but first you had to give yourself to him. You swallowed a bit nervously as the reality of your actions hit you. You knelt in front of Charles and caressed the tip of his hard flesh with your lips. You felt your own lust taking over your mind as you took him into your mouth.

Charles groaned as he slid his hard cock into the depths of your hot, wet mouth. He enjoyed every bit of it and tangled his fingers into your hair. He pulled himself out and told you to lick him. You traced the veins and sometimes stopped to caress the sensitive spots with the tip of your tongue. He moaned and instructed you to open your mouth again. You obeyed and sucked him as he slid deeper. Finally he kept your head still as he started to fuck your mouth with slow, deep thrusts. He did not let you move and he basically was using your mouth for his own pleasure. The idea was however strangely exciting and were enjoying being used like that.

Charles slowed down before he came. He pulled himself out from your mouth and gave you a little time to catch your breath and relax your jaws. He pulled you to sit and led you to the bed. You knew this bed. You had been on it before but only in your mind. He told you that he wanted you to lay on your back with your head over the edge. You did as he told you and watched him then walking in front of you. He bent down and put his hand between your breasts as he lowered himself into your mouth. This angle allowed him deeper into your mouth and also gave him the possibility to provide you pleasure as well. Charles however settled with teasing you and did not provide you any real satisfaction.

He fucked your mouth as he slid his hand under your loose pajama shorts and his finger between your wet folds. After spreading your wetness from your opening to your slit, he pressed his palm against your clit and slid his middle finger inside teasingly. He was not going to give it to you until he had reached his release with your mouth. Charles quickened his pace until he came and filled your throat with his hot seed. When he had ridden off his own orgasm, he pulled out from your mouth and removed his hand from your private parts.

Your head was spinning from need and you could only hope that Charles would now give you what you were yearning for. He told you to move and lay on your back against the pillows. You were still wearing your pajama shorts that were now stained with your arousal. Charles crawled on top of you and said that you probably knew already what was going to happen next. You bit your lip and then he suddenly lowered himself to kiss you and to bite your lip for you.  
You moaned as his hand was massaging your breast and then traveled lower to claim your clit through the shorts. He sat up and pulled your pants away. He placed his fingers on your opening again and slid two fingers in as he locked your lips into a heated, deep kiss. His tongue conquered yours and you had no other choice than to surrender yourself to him. You moaned against his mouth as you were taken near to an orgasm time after time but Charles never let you come.

He abandoned your lips and focused on your breasts for a moment before trailing down with kisses and long, slow licks. You spread your legs for him and waited patiently as he got nearer to your lower lips. This time he did not tease but started to caress you with his mouth immediately. He licked you slowly with long, fluent licks from your opening to your clit and then focused on your clit as he slid his fingers out just to add one more finger.  
You moved yourself to direct his touches in the right places but suddenly you were unable to move. Charles had hijacked your mind and all you could do was to take whatever he was going to give you. He kept you on the edge of the release but did not let you come, not until you begged him and begging was something that you did not want to do. It was something that you had promised yourself that you would never do.

Once again Charles slowed down just as you were going to become undone. You were getting angry at him and you were getting tired of playing around. You were being used and almost tortured and you wanted to go. You heard Charles laughing inside your head. “You’re not going anywhere” he mumbled against your inner thigh and you knew that he was right. You tried to move yourself but your body was not doing as you told it to. “All you have to do is to ask for it” he said inside your mind. “Never” you answered. “Fine, I’ll just keep teasing you” he stated and started to pump his fingers forcefully, again slowing down as soon as he felt that you were going to come. You had no other choice than to beg him.  
\- Please… you whimpered.  
\- Please?  
\- Just… take me… allow me to come, once at least. you cried as you had to face your own defeat.  
\- And this obscure power of yours? Charles asked. You were silent for a moment, thinking about your options. Charles pressed his mouth against your clit because it was taking too long. Maybe you still needed some convincing.  
\- I will give you anything. you gasped his tongue made you feel electrified, completely alive.

Charles was pleased. He felt your mind opening up to him as he started to caress you. He entered your mind and showered himself with the darkness that was now flowing freely from your mind into his. He started to slowly caress your clit with his mouth as his three fingers slid deep into you. He captured your mind as he sank deeper into the soft, luring darkness with you. You moaned and panted, completely unable to move but you liked it. You felt your orgasm getting closer and this time Charles did not stop. The feeling of bliss continued and your mind became one with Charles’ and everything got mixed with reality. He crawled between your legs and lowered himself on you. Finally you were able to embrace him and you wrapped your arms around him as he rubbed himself against you.  
Charles was getting aroused again. He was hard and slick. When he was completely ready to penetrate you, he repositioned himself and thrust himself in with one forceful motion. You gasped for air and arched your back. The feeling was so much better and intense than you had ever imagined. Charles kept his thrusts deep and slow. He stared into your eyes with a sinister spark in his eyes. You wrapped your legs around him and welcomed him deeper, harder and more intense in every way. 

He kept slowing down when he was about to come and then started to build up again, slowly, until there was nothing left but you and him and darkness. Charles reached to caress your clit and soon you came undone under his command. You moaned but your moans were muffled with a deep kiss that dominated your mouth and consumed your mind as your orgasm washed over you and filled your every cell as well as your mind. Charles felt your orgasm in his mind and it melted into his own release. You were almost like two bodies who shared one mind. It was dangerous but you did not care anymore. If darkness was filled with lust, power and pleasure… What the fuck had you done in the light this far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this one to Angel_Style as well because apparently "James doesn't get some the way that Mikke does"... Well... now Charles is definitely taking some... and giving some... so :D in the meantime... Charles must do :P and I promise to take stuff to next smut-level with James too. (I'll try)
> 
> I hope you liked this!


	13. The end to the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. Will there be a happy ending?

You felt Charles’ mood change as he came down from his heights. He had had a taste of the new force that was driving you but instead of embracing it, he pushed it away. He was worried that it would become the thing that would define you if you did not get stopped in time. “Stopped how?” he thought as he lay next to you in his bed. Charles felt that he had to address the matter immediately now that you were still awake and what he had just experienced was still fresh in his memory.

\- You need help. he said suddenly. You did not answer. What was there to say anyway? Therefore you got up and collected your clothes before leaving the room. You were angry because instead of joining you on the dark side, Charles wanted you to get help, become normal again. Normal meant weak. Weak was unacceptable. A part of you knew that he meant only well but the bigger part of you did not care anymore. You ran into your room and started to pack. There was no way you would stay in the house where you were not being accepted and where people, Charles, just used you to gain something. Maybe he had been curious about the obscure power that you now possessed but only to tell you that you needed help.

You stopped packing when you realized that there was no point to leave during the night. You had no transportation, you did not know the surroundings and it was raining heavily again. You decided to sleep the night and then when the morning came, you would go. That was the only way because staying was no option. It was no option because you felt that if you stayed, you would be just another wild animal that was being kept in a cage and that cage would be the end of you… not immediately but with time.

It was almost noon when you finally woke up. You were dressed in your day clothes because for a moment during last night, after leaving Charles’ room, you had been ready to go instantly and therefore you had gotten dressed. Instead of leaving you had then decided to get some sleep and leave as soon as the sun had come up. Now the sun was high up and it meant that you had overslept. You scolded yourself for that because now most likely your departure would not go unnoticed.

You got up and took your bag. You did not really have any belongings but you had decided to take some clothes with you and some other vital things. You unlocked the door and opened it, stepped into the hallway and after making sure that there were no people around, you left the room for good. You passed Erik’s room on your way to the staircase and stopped when you heard Erik talking with Charles in the sitting room downstairs. Their voices echoed in the room because they were having a rather loud and heated argument. They were talking about you and apparently Charles had told Erik what had happened between you and him. Erik sounded hurt and disappointed but he was still surprisingly calm.

Yes, Erik was calm although he was somewhat upset, not at you so much but mostly Charles who he had trusted and whom he considered as his dearest friend. He knew that he had left you in a very vulnerable state when he himself should have been there for you. Sure Erik was afraid that he would turn dark himself if he stayed around you and that had been the reason why he had left, but then he had decided that it was not right if he abandoned you like that. It was the reason he had come back earlier than he had thought.

Charles however was more worried about the darkness that was in you than he was actually worried about you. He had seen glimpses of dark thoughts that had taken over your mind last night. He had felt you giving in to them and it worried him very much. He was also shocked about his own actions and now that his mind was clear again, he realized that he had been under the influence of your darkness and it had intoxicated him. It was a dangerous path which he did not want to step on. Instead of following you into the shadows he wanted to cure you, save you and help you, make you normal again.

It was the thing that you could sense about him now and it disgusted you because he did not see that light did not bring you happiness, no, not after everything that had happened. You walked the stairs down silently but stepped on a squeaky spot on the floor and at that moment Erik stormed out from the sitting room. He stared at you without saying a word, with a confused look on his face. You stared at him and squeezed the handle of your bag harder. Erik noticed the bag and asked  
\- Are you leaving?

You heard Charles asking “who is leaving?” and then walking to the large entrance hall. He stopped when he saw you. You avoided looking at him and stopped him from getting into your mind as well.  
\- Why are you leaving? Erik asked. He sounded surprised and sad. His sadness made you sad because you still cared about him, just a couple of days ago you had been willing to start something with him if he had just wanted to.  
\- I cannot stay here. you answered. Your voice was somewhat weak and it was obvious that the decision was not easy for you.  
\- Why? Erik asked. He wanted to, no, needed to understand why you were going to abandon the place where you could like in safety and maybe even become happy, loved even. You answered him immediately  
\- It is not safe-  
\- I will protect you. Erik stated right away. He did not want you to go away now that he had just returned.  
\- You left. you said with a bitter tone. In a way you knew that by going into Charles’ room last night you had made your decision and you had known that it would mean that you would have to leave the mansion. There had been only two options; either Charles joined you on the dark side and you would stay or he rejected you and you would leave. Erik had rejected you earlier so now you did not have any reason to stay.

\- I came back. Erik said and reached out for you. You however stepped back a little and shook your head.  
\- It is too late now. you mumbled and shifted your gaze from him to the floor. You were hoping that you had not given in to Charles because in a way you had betrayed Erik although there had not been any promise of a relationship and he had left but in a way you felt used because Charles had used you to get even with his friend and you had used Charles to get even with Erik who had left you but now you regretted it.  
\- I know what happened between you and Charles. Erik said with a calm voice. He had known deep down that something like that would happen if he left. In a way he had hoped it to happen because he had thought that maybe Charles could save you by being stronger than the darkness within you. Charles however had been lured and intoxicated by it and you spending a night with him had made everything only worse. Erik had realized it and come back but it had already happened.

\- And you do not hate me? you asked. You were expecting him to tell you that he despised you for betraying him that way but you were completely surprised when he answered  
\- No. I was angry when Charles told me but I am the one who left. I should have been here, protecting you.  
You thought about his words for a moment but you felt that you were far beyond saving now. Therefore you said  
\- No-  
\- Let me save you. Erik pleaded. He stepped a little bit closer to you and smiled at you with a hopeful look on his face.  
\- You cannot save me. you answered with a deep, soft tone. You appreciated it that Erik had come back and wanted to save you, whatever it meant, but it was too late now. Your mind was made up and there was no turning back.  
\- Why? Erik asked.  
\- Because I do not want to be saved. Can’t you see? I am different now. I could be powerful but if I’ll stay… No, I cannot stay but I am asking you, Erik, to come with me. you answered and reached your arm out to Erik. All he had to do was to take it and you would never leave him. You would create a world for you two and you would rule that world side by side with him as equals.

\- I can’t. Erik answered and dropped his head as you pulled your hand away.  
\- We could conquer the world, embrace the night and let the stars be our limit. Together, Erik, we could be powerful and great. you stated and pleaded him to follow you. Erik was in the crossroads; would he follow you and become something very powerful but also terrifying or would he stay in the light and let you go. He stayed silent as he battled with himself. On the other hand he wanted nothing more than to follow you, follow his angel to the worlds end but on the other hand he knew that if he followed you now, there would be no turning back and what he would become scared and allured him at the same time. After a long silence he shook his head with a sorrowful look on his face. You nodded and turned away.  
\- You will hate yourself eventually, if you’ll leave now. Charles said. He had been silent during the entire conversation, anxiously waiting and following how the situation would develop and where it would lead.  
\- Fuck you, Charles. you said with a defiant smile on your face as you walked out from the door.

You managed to hitchhike to the nearest city and from there to London. You could sense peoples bad thoughts and intentions but instead of preventing them from doing anything bad, you kind of soaked yourself into their darkness and felt yourself getting stronger and as you got stronger, you started to affect people unconsciously and unintentionally. You were not a bad person and you did not want to hurt anyone, unless they had hurt you first, but you did not try to do the right thing anymore either. You closed your heart, forgot your feelings and concentrated on feeding off other peoples bad intentions.

Life at the mansion continued as it had before you. Erik missed you and Charles was worried that you would eventually turn evil. Charles found himself thinking sometimes about you and the way he had been influenced by the obscure power that you had in yourself. He was wondering what his life would be like if you had not been forced to save Erik. Would Charles have been happy with you, would you have been happy with him? Charles however was somewhat busy with his mutant-students who he tried to help and he had no time to think about you. You had made your choice and he forced himself to respect that decision.

Erik however tried to keep some kind of track where you were and how you were coping. Life was no easy without accessing your funds and without a home but somehow you got by. Erik actually left the mansion to keep better eye on you and tried to protect you from the distance. Then one day Charles contacted him. Charles also had been keeping an eye on you and noticed that wherever you went, destruction followed. It meant that as months had passed by you had become so powerful that now destruction followed you. Sometimes it was only that people started to argue after their path had crossed with yours but sometimes when someone whose life you touched was already in the dark place, it made them make terrible things. 

You knew this yourself as well. You had noticed and first you had enjoyed the little bit of chaos that you brought around you, but the thing was that you were not evil and as the deeds that people committed around you after they had been in the same room with you or passed you on the sidewalk, got more serious, they started to make you anxious and to feel guilty. The people who were unstable to begin with were the worst. Once you had witnessed a woman stabbing a man with a pair of scissors in a shop that sold custom made suits. You had entered the shop because it had started to rain heavily and there had been a couple ordering a suit for the man for their wedding.  
Nothing had happened at first, they had sounded very happy and excited but then when the woman had walked to the window to check out the weather, she had accidentally bumped into you and soon after that she had taken the scissors and stabbed first her fiancée. The man who worked in the shop had then called the police, right after you had left the shop and disappeared into the sea of umbrellas. The woman had been so seriously affected because she had previously been in a violent relationship, a long time ago but it had left mental scars and made her an easy target for you… or not you-you, the thing that was living inside you.

The incident left you completely shocked and you suddenly realized that the darkness which was now poisoning the people around you was beyond your control. You had enjoyed the feeling of not caring about right or wrong, good and bad or whether you were behaving selfishly or not, but now it was becoming clear that Charles had been right; you hated yourself and thought about various ways to end it almost constantly. You tried to isolate yourself from people but the darkest people were being drawn to you as your darkness was calling them so you had to keep moving all the time.

It had been almost a year since you had entered the early 60’s-mutant –dimension the second time when you finally managed to create a portal again. You found yourself in your bed and tried to do everything again. You had seen Charles in your dream and when you went to the pub you found Charles there. He took him into the mansion and you met Erik who was in the sitting room… apparently this time you had not saved him and he was the one with the darkness inside him. You went into the bathroom and managed to create a portal to what would happen if you stayed there. You woke up in Nazi Germany, staring at the soldier that was about to kill you. Then you were back at home. You kept repeating your actions over and over and changing things but the outcome was always that either Erik was evil or you were. You did not have to live the year all over again because you knew in your mind how things had gone when you stepped through the portal and ended up into the past or future.

It had not made any difference when you had told Charles everything right in the beginning because he could not just magically start to love you, besides telling him what Erik had and not had done just ruined his relationship with him and you were left alone with the darkness that was now growing almost exponentially every time you tried to change something. It was almost like every change you made was for the worse although you tried to change things for the better.

You had tried giving Erik only a half of the note so he would not be so obsessed about you but it had not made that much difference. You had not given him the note and he had never met Charles but then again you found Charles somewhat depressed because he did not have the support of his dear friend and Erik was somewhat lost in the world because Charles had not taught him to control his power or the darkness that was in him as well. Therefore you had to change the past again. This time you saved Erik and then hoped that you could avoid the darkness following you from the past, the same darkness that would consume Erik if you did not take it from him, but it was never an option. It was always either him or you. Actually Erik had the darkness in him every time but the difference was if he was able to control it or not.

This time you decided not to let Charles into your mind. There was no need for him to know that he had loved you because after repeating the year over for almost 50 times and every time it was the same or something worse, there was no love for Charles left in you. You did not have to live through the entire year, oh no, you just needed to visit the key-moments and you knew how the life had turned out. Now you were back after saving Erik and Charles was warming up the pizzas.

You decided not to tell anyone about what you had seen or experienced as you stared Erik drawing in his room. Suddenly he stopped and turned to look at you. He smiled when he saw you but his smile faded away when he saw you. You were crying although you tried to smile to hide your tears.  
\- Mein Engel-  
\- I came to say goodbye. you said with a silent voice. The thing was that you had fallen in love with Erik as you had tried to save him. You had become somewhat obsessed with changing things for the better and you had finally realized that you had wanted to experience life with Erik because it had been about him for so long. For 50 years you had been skipping time and events just to save him and giving yourself a chance to share a life with him.  
\- What? Why? Erik asked.  
\- Erik… I can’t save myself. This path that I have walked so many times… I cannot do it anymore… you answered and fought the tears that were trying to break free and roll on your cheeks.  
\- What are you talking about? he asked. He really had no idea because all he had was a faint memory of you rescuing him and then a feeling that you would come back some day.  
\- I want you to know that I loved you. I only wanted to make things right and have a life with you in it, but it seems that it will never happen. you mumbled silently to yourself. You sounded defeated and heartbroken which made Erik worried.  
\- You are not making any sense. he said.  
\- I know… Don’t worry… It will probably never make sense. Just remember this, you have been loved, for almost 50 years… but I must go now because I cannot change my own path. I cannot fix myself. Believe me, I’ve tried but… I cannot get it right. you said and shook your head. 

Erik looked confused. You smiled briefly and walked out from the room. You had decided to go immediately because it was something that you had never done before. You had always been too curious to leave but this time you did not let your curiosity to get the best of you. You walked outside and breathed in the warm summer air and stepped on the edge of the fountain. You emptied your mind and stared at the surface of the water. You had decided that this time the accident that had started it all would kill you and the world would reset itself, maybe.

Erik was puzzled. He had no idea what you had meant when you had said that you could not save yourself and you had walked this path so many times. However for some reason he got a feeling that he was meant to follow you. He left his room and his feet guided him into the garden, almost like had been under some kind of spell. He saw you standing on the edge of the fountain and somehow he knew that you were leaving and this time you were not coming back.

He shouted your name a couple of times but you did not answer. In the matter of fact you did not hear him at all because you were deep in your thoughts. Suddenly he saw you stepping into the water and for his surprise you disappeared into the water completely. He knew that the fountain was shallow and since you jumped there with your feet first, you should not have gotten entirely submerged, only up to your waist or so. He ran to the fountain and did not see you at all. He went through his options and then decided to follow you, wherever you had gone. It was his choice and he felt surprisingly calm about making it.

Erik jumped into the water and when he opened his eyes, he was in your bathroom. He looked around and saw a bathtub filled with water. You were just getting ready for the bath, silently sobbing, writing a letter to anyone who would find you because this time you were not going to survive the accident. You were too tired to repeat the same things all over again and you were too weak to continue your previous life alone with the things that you had experienced and if the accident happened and you survived it, the temptation of changing something again would be too much for you to handle.

You heard someone walking in your apartment and you decided to go and see who or what it was. Then you saw Erik stepping out from the bathroom. Your memory of him felt like a dream and for a moment you did not recognize him. It had been a long time you had seen him, excluding the very brief conversation that you had had with him before you had returned back. Therefore the conversation had not happened because nothing had happened yet. Not even the darkness.

Now however Erik was standing in your apartment staring at you. Things were different. He was there and he was as he used to be, saved from the horrors of his childhood, despite the fact that you were as you had been before the accident and not touched by the darkness that had ruined you and your life so many times already. Erik walked to the table where the letter that you had written was. He read it through and sighed. It was not a long letter and it did not really give any explanation for the suicide that you had decided to commit. You had not had time to finish it because Erik had interrupted you.

\- What are you doing here? you asked. The silence while Erik had read the letter had given you time to gather your memories about the things that happened before and now you finally remembered who he was.  
\- I am saving you. he said with a soft, deep tone and smiled as he tilted his head a little. He put the letter on the table and walked to you. You were wrapped in a big towel and stepped a bit further away from him. Erik stopped and opened his arms for you. You did not move for a moment but Erik did not give up. He waited patiently as you weighted your options. Then you walked to him and accepted his embrace.

\- I do not know what has happened to you, but I have a feeling that this is where you’re supposed to be. Erik said as he held you tightly in his arms. He ran his fingers up and down on your back and brushed your hair occasionally. You closed your eyes and cried silently.  
\- Come… take a bath with me. he said and took your hands after you had stopped crying. You smiled a little and nodded. Erik walked into the bathroom, got undressed and stepped into the bathtub. The water was pleasantly warm and soon you walked into the bathroom. When you saw Erik in the tub you froze because you felt terribly shy and insecure all of a sudden. Erik opened his eyes and stood up, stepped out from the bath and put his hands on your cheeks as he was standing right in front of you. He smiled and then leaned closer to kiss you.

His hands felt warm and soft against your cheeks and his touch was unimaginably gentle. You smiled a little as you let him guide you into the first real kiss. You felt his lips brushing your cheek and then pressing a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth before searching your lips and starting to explore them. The first kiss was soft and it lingered on your lips as subtle as a question. The next one was slightly more passionate but still very modest and sweet.  
You felt Erik’s hands leaving your cheeks and tracing your neck, arm and back before tracing the towel to the front, onto your chest and slowly opening it. When the towel fell on the floor, he pressed his hand onto your heart and stopped kissing you for a moment. He pressed his forehead against yours and you both breathed calmly in and out with your eyes closed. Your heart was beating fast but it was also strong and steady, full of life and excitement for the future. Erik stepped into the bathtub and you followed him. He sat down and leaned backwards comfortably. Then he motioned you to sit on his lap, facing him and when you did, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to relax against his chest.

Erik’s skin felt warm and soft against your cheek. He kept drawing random shapes on the skin of your back and smiling to himself as your breathing got calmer and you finally fell asleep. Somehow he knew that he was not able to return into his world but then again, he had you now. Sure the world looked and sounded different but none of it mattered as long as you were there experiencing the world with him.

You were happy. You did not know how your life would turn out this time because none of this had ever happened before. You knew that Erik did not know you and you had no idea why he had followed you into your world but you were happy that he had. You knew that you would never be able to change anything about the past or in the future again because now your X-gene had not been activated and you stayed “normal”. Your life would continue like nothing had happened, or not quite. The exception now was that Erik was there with you and he had saved you. You did not know why or how he had even been able to follow you through the portal because it had never been tried before.

You woke up after 70 minutes of napping and pressed a couple of kisses on Erik’s chest. He sighed and held you tighter in his arms. The water was getting cold and you decided to get off the bath. You both wrapped yourselves into large towels and after eating a quick snack, although your fridge was almost empty, you went to bed and gave yourselves to each other. It was slow and gentle and it felt right. You both fell asleep embracing each other and when you woke up in the morning, Erik was there holding you in his arms, sleeping peacefully and even the old money tree was still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to LiraPond as a thank you for the comment on the one-shot to which this story was based on.
> 
> So this was it.
> 
> I hope you liked it although the story got a bit weird, dark and twisted :D
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.


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